and your point is...

*disclaimer: basically, this post is a shout-out to several of my favorite blogs with themes, and how mine is not.

so, i read a post here (awesome design blog that i stalk/drool over/envy/wish to emulate despite my lack of inherited design skillz) about how to grow your blog, increase traffic, and such. she has a lot of great ideas about it. as i read, i realized: my blog has no real discernible point.

i'm ok with this. my blog serves no other purpose than to publicly contain my random typings about life, marriage and pet peeves, and entertain myself and a few other readers that happen to share my hit-or-miss humor about the neuroses and experiences that shape my life. i don't need a goal or an objective. i'm not trying to sell you anything or increase my fame, although seeing new followers makes me really really happy (big. hint). i am lost on html code to make my blog super-cute and i do not have time to upload tons of pictures that i don't have tons of time to take. i honestly just have no desire to narrow my blog-vision and drive a point home. also, i like to use as many post labels as possible. you may have noticed.

sorry. remember, i've told you i have commitment issues when it comes to making inane decisions, like buying new running shoes and such. ok, i don't actually run. but whatevsies.

i would love to have a sweet and aesthetically pleasing blog like emily and tim, and write cute letters to the hubs, or to anyone, but i don't. it takes time, effort and consistency. i, personally, am an all-star amateur procrastinator, and some days i just don't feel like writing sweet notes to the law student. but i'm trying to get better about that.

or, if i had an amazing life mission like the oatsvalls, the mayernicks, sarah or katie, i would be more than happy to advocate for it. and i obviously don't have children (nfp success! yes! happy dance.), so a mommy-blog is out of the question. all i have is the roxy, and blogging obsessively about my crooked-ear pound puppy might actually drive people away.

so, for now, i am content with sharing my thoughts and adventures as a law wife, as i see fit. maybe one day i'll shape up and give you a more pointed perspective. or maybe not.

day 10

#10 - something i'm afraid of

i'm pretty sure everyone will get a kick out of this.

spiders.
being left behind after the rapture - seriously.
the thought of sky-diving or bungee jumping.
taking pregnancy tests.
the thought of childbirth.
small spaces from which i cannot run from screaming escape.

there's an app for that

this morning's gchat from friend:

started my period today

just like iPeriod said i would

i keep up w/ it on my phone

there really is an app for everything.

kinda makes my stack (stack! success!) of nfp charts seem lame.

up next: something completely unrelated!

so, the law student and i are still reading (though woefully behind) the bible all the way through. last night, he tricked me into reading the family lineage of esau (we take turns reading). all was going well until i got to the name oholibamah. the bible has never made me laugh until last night. can you imagine if she got lost? ohoooooooooolibamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! where aaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooooooooou? so every time i read that name (and it was a lot), i said it like that. and laughed like it was the funniest thing i'd ever said.

note: genesis is long and repetitive. can't wait until we get to leviticus, numbers and deuteronomy, which is bound to be full of names i can't pronounce, printed over and over again in differently-arranged-but-still-same-ole-thing sentences.

nfp fml, et cetera

1. i miss not having cramps. and thanks, elizabeth, for my blog post title.

2. i am aware the blog is lacking because i am slacking. i told you i just like to make lists, remember?

3. i heart nba finals. i really don't care who wins, just as long as they win in game 7. i like a good series. i do love watching kobe win, but the celtics, when they are on, are a sight to behold.

4. i am still a bit depressed: the job situation (or rather, lackthereof), parents' divorce (yes, really, it's still happening and it still sucks all kinds of dirty words), not knowing the future, and being unable to leave the ice cream alone even though i no longer want to wear pants to work, only dresses. oh, and another golden girl died. i shall now have to do a memorial post.

5. i get to see my cousin this week! i haven't seen brookaloo since i got hitched over three years ago. i'm. pumped.

stay tuned.

wednesday wussy

it's a wednesday wussy post, just for my friend elizabeth.

my body is conspiring against me. not only am i just now recovered from previously mentioned hellacious sinus infection and living with a disagreeable gi tract, but i suspect that my body actually wants to get pregnant against my will. my fertile period seems to be extremely long this time. maybe my body is producing ambiguous symptoms on purpose. maybe it's just the antibiotics. it doesn't matter--i'm on to its games, and i will win.

i gained four pounds on vacation. four. and we really didn't eat all that much! i ate SALADS on vacation! we accidentally skipped dinner two nights. i only had ice cream once. geez.

i think my camera is dead. it started suffering grand mal seizures on graduation weekend. you know, the moment i pick it up to take a picture of my law student receiving his diploma. so, i've found the camera cord (fingers crossed for a successful upload!) for the computer, found my stash of photo cards and have actually taken pictures of an entire vacation, and now my camera is kaput. sigh.

i have a bit of a vacation hangover/depression. before los angeles, i was kind of ok living here in small town. it had its good points, its perks: the farmer's market, our church, the park and the trails for roxy, a cute little downtown, good public schools, and it seems to be perfectly situated as a sort of home base for all my travels. i'm really no more than 4 hours away from any given friend except jules, and we're only an hour from an international airport. not to mention we live rent-free (for now) and i am employed. but after los angeles, i'm in a bit of a funk. i don't really want to live in los angeles, per se. you know, traffic, smog, crime, etc. but it is just as intoxicating to me as it once was: very grand, very busy, very cool. and very not like small town. sigh.

i have been accosted with two emails this week about homeless dogs--my poor little heart can hardly stand it. one family is looking for a new home for their dachsund, and another family has been semi-adopted by a stray. i am particularly drawn to the scraggly stray. i think she and roxy could get along. anyone want a dog?

in happier news: i may have the best husband ever. last week, i woke up at 5 a.m. unable to breathe and proceeded to blow my little nose off in the bathroom. instead of 1) rolling over and 2) telling me to go to the hall bathroom (like i might have done), he got up and made me a glass of cold water and a hot towel to put on my sinuses. awwwwww. he's also brought me lunch twice this week. whatever it is that he wants, he's playing his cards very shrewdly.

friday

kathleen thinks i'm funny. thank you, kathleen.

in other news:

i did make it through yesterday. but i still can't fire that client. and i have to work sunday. i can't wait for april 16th.

the law student and i are now the proud owners of two round-trip non-stop flights to the city of angels! i hope all of our friends are currently underemployed with lots of free time, large extra bedrooms and deep pockets. oh, and los angeles dodgers? you suck for playing out of town in arizona that week.

the law student thinks that upon graduation, he should be called sir. the law student is deluded.

i think my mental state this month is echoed in the physical state of my bedroom. and bathroom. and kitchen. so, i plan to clean this weekend.

i also plan to make dream cookies for april 15th, and later this month for a friend's birthday. corrie, this is your sign that i really do love you.

in addition to all my crazy situations at work, i started this week off with a pregnancy scare. but have no fear, nfp rides again! can i tell you how much our california vacation would have sucked? who has 2 thumbs and wants to be knocked up in la watching their husband and friends party it up while she's puking? not this girl.

i asked the law student to make dinner last night. please note this involves a crock pot (read: you can't screw this up.) here's the email i sent to him:

in crock pot, put (in order):

frozen corn (it's family size, so maybe not all of it)
1 can black beans (drain, rinse, repeat), or 2 if you think we need it
chicken breasts, salted and peppered
chopped garlic (2-3, remaining cloves in the little dish--the small things)
jarred salsa over the top

put on high.

the "drain, rinse, repeat" part stumped him. yes, really. i made dinner.

just thinking about this week makes me want an adult beverage.

flintstones kids

so, i read in reader's digest this past week that most vitamin supplements are useless, unless you are a woman of child-bearing age. i realize "woman" is mostly redundant but in these days i guess you have to be more than specific. this is mainly due to folate, or folic acid, that pregnant women need immediately for their growing baby, even before they know they are pregnant. folic acid helps prevent against spina bifida.

since we are still using nfp as our means of baby-proofing, pregnancy is a still a risk. i'm also barely anemic. lots of folks are deficient in vitamin d due to sunscreen. and i don't drink a lot of milk (because it's so good a little goes a long way, and it's expensive) and probably need calcium. vitamins seemed to be in my best interest. so this weekend i bought a bottle of pre-natal vitamins.

i'm waiting for the law student to find them and freak out.

friday

so glad it's friday! monday is corporate tax deadline (not that anyone cares), so i'll be sure to whoop it up this weekend.

i get to see my sweet sisters tonight!anna, becca, kissey

one lives in south MS, and another in texas. i miss them lots. i just wish becca could gchat with me all day like anna does. they are both teachers, something i could never do. i love hearing anna's drama and quotes from becca's kids.

in other news, thursdays just got better. i love the office and jim halpert and the contact embarassment michael creates (sometimes i can't even watch). 3o rock is awesome, smart and funny. jenna is my favorite character and the law student has a small crush on tina fey. i thought it couldn't get better. but i was wrong. has anyone seen the marriage ref? i laughed out loud last night. i mean, jerry seinfield, tina fey and eva longoria parker were funny last week and alec baldwin's opinions on marriage should be interesting, but the combination of larry david, ricky gervais and madonna was epic. and where do they find these couples???? who wants to air those battles on national television? i don't always agree with the decisions, or tom papa's perpetual facial expression (cause he only has one), but the commentary is hysterical.

speaking of sisters: sorry, but nfp is still winning. month FIVE and counting. (i know i'll screw this up and have to eat crow sometime, but not today.)

not me monday

i definitely did not get scolded by a 14-year-old after calling his grandmother a jackass while my window was down, because she was trying to "sneak" her suburban in behind someone i was letting into traffic and scared me to death. i'd never yell at someone in traffic. at least state won the basketball game!

also, i was not at all terrified yesterday when i was one day late. months without getting pregnant: 2.

survey and a side note

The Best of '09--thanks, new follower joeli.

feel free to copy and answer for yourself!

1. what did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? started nfp
2. did you keep your new year’s resolutions in '09, and have you made some for '10? can't remember 2009, and the only for 2010 is to not get pregnant, and lose these 5 pounds that came out of NOWHERE.
3. did anyone close to you give birth? jessica and sweet harper belle, and sara with olivia amy.
4. did anyone close to you die? ben's grammi, bless her.
5. what countries did you visit? none. poot.
6. what would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? more motivation and a real-world job for the law student.
7. what dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? oct. 10--little olivia!
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year? not getting pregnant or fired.
9. what was your biggest failure? not staying in shape, learning spanish or painting enough
10. did you suffer illness or injury? an infected cat bite.
11. what was the best thing you bought? yoga pants, plane ticket to tampa and wine.
12. whose behavior merited celebration? can i be generic and say tim tebow? also katie in uganda.
13. whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? that would be you, tiger woods, speidi, mel gibson, imaletyoufinish west and jon gosselin.
14. where did most of your money go? wine and gas
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about? probably something by rihanna.
16. what song will always remind you of 2009? michael jackson, duh! and lady gaga for some damn reason.
17. compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier, cause the law student only has 5 more months and i discovered textsfromlastnight.com
(b) thinner or fatter? fatter. :(
c) richer or poorer? probably poorer.
18. what do you wish you’d done more of? good, painting, sacrificing
19. what do you wish you’d done less of? talking
20. how did you spend christmas? same as this year--the starkville-columbus shuffle, and then rick's with friends.
21. did you fall in love in 2009? already there
22. what was your favorite tv program? oooh! new favorites LOST, true blood and criminal minds
23. do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? don't know. probably not.
24. what was the best book you read? franny & zooey and animal vegetable miracle.
25. what was your greatest musical discovery? ida maria and the black keys, rediscovered ben harper
26. what did you want and get? skinny jeans and a mirror for the wall, and awareness.
27. what did you want and not get? a more cooperative gi tract, awesome job and family peace
28. what was your favorite film of this year? it really might be sherlock holmes. also, food, inc., the hangover, milk and the spirit
29. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 27, and i worked 10 hours and had a dinner i didn't really like and can't even remember what i got from the law student
30. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? seeing more of my friends more often, and a personal shopper
31. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? "anna, i have nothing to wear!"
32. what kept you sane? wine. ha! coming home to the law student, and working out.
33. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? whatever.
34. what political issue stirred you the most? the food industry, adoption and health care
35. who did you miss? jules
36. who was the best new person you met? marty and friends from pilates! anne, stevie and jessica
37. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. you are what you eat.
38. quote a song lyric that sums up your year. ok, i googled that. and still i have nothing.

side note: just a little insight into the female mind. when i say, "honeeeeey, i wish you wouldn't do that on that nice buffet," what i really mean is, "oh my gosh, why in the free world would you do that there? that's a nice piece of furniture! come on, ben, think! think! i know you think you just HAVE to stand in front of the tv, and can't really bear to tear yourself away from it for even just a second, but really? don't tear up the furniture. that stuff scratches."

she's baaaaaaaaack

and a bit depressed.

i privatized ole blogger here because i was applying for a new job with a GREAT company and thought it would be prudent to keep these random thoughts hidden.

i found out this morning i did not make it to the second round of interviews. suck. so back to blogging it is. small consolation. le sigh. well, i did get what i asked for. i asked for clarification and for the job to open up if it was right, and He didn't, so there. it's still not any fun though. i really wanted that job.

moving on to my next disaster....it's not really a disaster. it is a decision with great risks. and the law student and i are ready for it.

natural family planning.

um, eeeeeeeek.

not to be confused with the less-than-reliable rhythm method.

we (well, i, and the law student went along with it more than willingly, which is a bit (but not really) surprising. ooooh, parentheses within parentheses! squeeee!) have embarked into uncharted (ha! pun.) territory. i feel a bit like i've dived into the deep end of a cold, cold pool. so, i'll finish this post with how we got started down this path.

it really all started with food. as you all know, dear readers, i like organic food. i am down with dirt. grass-fed cattle, chickens and pigs, free-range eggs, milk straight from the dairy, no pesticides on our veggies....aaahhh. i miss summer. so, before i digress into my trip to the dairy, let me get back. the principle is really the same--being careful and intentional about what you put in your body. i have been on the birth control pill for several years now. i have never really had a problem with them--they usually work like a charm and didn't whack me out or anything--but was getting concerned about being medicated with hormones for such an extended period of time. i had read a little about natural family planning and decided i wanted to try it. i really like the "natural" aspect of it.

a little crash-course in nfp--it's just biology. and that kills me. women are not taught how to interpret their bodies, which i think has profound implications as far as personal health. seriously though, it's biology, and it's amazing. a woman's body gives off natural cues relating to her fertility, controlled by the rise and fall of hormones estrogen and progestin. natural family planning (a blanket term for several different methods and just the general idea of it) teaches you the signs to look for and how to interpret those signs to be able to, with more than reasonable accuracy, determine the status of your fertility and use that information to avoid pregnancy (my goal) or obtain pregnancy (not my goal). it's a lot more involved and is backed by a life perspective as well, but this is what i am focusing on here.

and, well, biology is confusing. currently, i am most interested in billings/creighton model, which charts cervical mucus. you can also chart your temperature (in three different places) and the position and feel of your cervix. (um, what?) you could chart one, two or even all three. but that involves more work. cervical mucus is charted by its presence and consistency and color. you have to take your temperature first thing in the morning before you get out of bed or even roll over, or it's off. and if you are sick or take medicine or something like that, it affects your temperature. and the cervix charting has a higher "ick" factor than i am willing to deal with. also, per my conversation with my very knowledgeable friend (and courtney's sister) katie, charting lots of symptoms seems good but can cause confusion if one sign says "fertile" while another says "infertile." so mucus it is. i have a little chart and everything. hopefully i can get the coordinating stickers soon.

also, here's the kicker. if i were catholic, i would have been charting since i got engaged. i'd be a charting pro right now. but i'm not catholic and have been on the pill, so i really have no idea what my body's "normal" is. so abstinence for the first cycle charting is recommended just to get a grip on things. the law student seemed to take this recommendation to heart, as in it does not seem to bother him in the least. i'm a little pissed. and we're on day 6.

so, that's our new adventure. pray we don't get pregnant. i'll keep you posted.

psalm 139:14 - i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, i know that full well.