feeling the burn

today is not my day. let me count the ways.

slept in too late to go running. i also didn't run yesterday. it's going to rain all day, which means no running today and no jackson trip with dad to see becca.

while making breakfast, i managed to burn black plastic into my palm. i left some tongs too close to a still-red stove eye and grabbed them without thinking.

then, i set the same tongs back onto the same eye and burned more black plastic onto the stove.

my coffee got cold during all of this. more proof that i should drink coffee before doing anything else, always. so i heated it up, apparently far too long, and coffee erupted all in my microwave.

i'm not sure i should get out of my pajamas, much less out of the house.

feelin' kinda funky

not in a good way, though. i'm stressed. there, i said it. so often i really try to be upbeat, optimistic, even if only to buck up my other half, who is also stressed. but i'm tired and kind of feel like just wallowing (anxiously, of course) in the stress.

stress affects everyone differently. the law student tends to neglect sleep and act like a zombie during the waking hours. incidentally, he's really been freaking me out lately with his excitement over the zombie apocalypse. there are reasons i don't watch scary movies - zombies are one of them.

as for me, i handle stress much differently. i want to do nothing but sleep all the time. i make half-hearted lists that are doomed to never be crossed off. i eat junk food and neglect exercise. therefore, i tend to feel crappy, fat, and groggy in addition to the stress, which only complicates things further.

it is a real effort for me to overcome stress, to do things that need to get done or make me feel better, because i just plain don't want to do anything. let's talk about yesterday, because it's a prime example of how stress makes me self-sabotage. i went home early yesterday from work. i felt stressed (you guessed right!) and really tired, plus i needed to look for jobs and wanted to take some time to do some stuff around the house. secretly i just wanted to read and nap, but i made a list: menu, grocery list, clean bathrooms, read Bible & pray, put up clothes, work out, walk roxy, call contact, job applications, vacuum, put up dishes, blog (look at me, crossing things off my list), fold clothes. know what i did? i walked roxy, made a grocery list and applied to three jobs. i had two hours off work and that's what i did, which means i have to do all the rest of that stuff today.

and the absolute worst consequence? i have not had any coffee today because we are out of coffee filters and i have not gone to get any. i feel like a zombie.

untitled monday post

first and foremost, i would like to publicly thank my new followers, katie and jessica. new followers always make me happy. seriously, if you're secretly stalking me, be brave and publicly follow me. i love to know who finds me mildly entertaining. come out, come out, whoever you are!

me and jess, some years ago--reuniting soon!

so, goings-on with the langs: msu football, miami dolphin football, mother-in-law's birthday (and getting to see sweet niece olivia-bonus!), new small group, the swearing off of hard liquor (or at least whiskey), baby showers, visiting old friends and of course, waiting out the bar exam results. we get them thursday! thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts. i'm more than certain the law graduate passed, but it's nice to know for sure. i'll keep you updated.

i think back about him studying for the LSAT. he was so disciplined! then, he graduated and we got married the next weekend. i quit my job, because who wants to work the week of their wedding, and then after their honeymoon? and then, we just had to get up here to small town, so we packed up our horse trailer (yes, horse trailer) and moved completely in 24 hours. that was when we discovered this town does not sell cold beer. rebels, and hot beer? oy vey.

it was exciting and a bit scary here at first, trying to find jobs and our little niche. if you were my friend then, you heard all about it. but life puttered along here and picked up speed. we found jobs, friends and a church, and all the little secret things i love about this town. and life just sort of happened. the last three years have been great and i think we've both learned a lot--wow, just thinking about it is kind of cool! and now, at the beginning of our 4th football season here (can you tell i'm a happily converted sports fan?), we are waiting. waiting for bar exam results. waiting for a job offer. hell, even an interview would be nice. waiting for...what? i hesitate to say waiting for our life to start, because it already has. three years of school, growing, new friends, life routines, work. all these things happened, and were good, and are valuable and memorable. so while we wait, and i feel like the big door of life is almost open and i too often get caught up in the whirlwind of our future, i struggle to remember that today counts, too. we are not in limbo, we are in motion, and we have two hands and two feet to do the work of the gospel. "waiting for a job offer and subsequent new life direction" is no excuse to be idle. i'm trying to think of this as a time to sow, and to be still, and to learn and prepare.

i've mentioned we are reading the bible all the way through, haven't i? i love it. we get up early, which i hate, and pray together, and then read the chapters for the day, and then pray again. and as much as it physically pains me to get up earlier than i would like, i really crave that time with the law graduate to pray together and be in the Word together. granted, we are a week behind because of football weekends and a certain sleepyhead, but i'm glad we are doing this together. it's hard to stay mad at someone when you have to hold hands and pray with them every day.

hope this monday finds you all well. i'll be back later!

wednesdays are for wussies

wednesdays are tough. i'm sure you've heard the term "hump day" (and if you haven't until now, it is not a reference to routine weekday sexual activities), and everyone seems to think this makes wednesdays not only tolerable but enjoyable. but man, sometimes, i just have to draaaaag myself through a wednesday, and fridays are still 2 days away. all wednesday long. so i have dubbed myself a wednesday wussy. you can be one too!

a few thoughts for all you wednesday wussies out there:

i vacuumed up a spider yesterday while i was cleaning, and didn't scream at all, although i was marginally afraid the vacuum would shoot it back out at me, which would have elicited a large scream and quite possibly a conniption fit.

my right index toe (pointer toe, if you will) is numb on the tip, left side bottom. curious. and curiously annoying. it started last night around 7, and is still occuring, and i have no idea why. maybe it's narc-toe-lepsy.

woke up this morning around 5 am to an empty bed, which is weird because the law student was there when i went to sleep. found him underneath a sleeping bag on the couch with the roxy. his explanation: "i couldn't sleep, so i came out here and got on the couch and fell asleep." in his regular shorts. unzipped. so he got up in the dark, felt the need to dress, but not entirely. whatever. who am i to judge someone's sleeping neuroses?

i am currently a fan of greek yogurt, particularly with honey, blueberries or strawberry preserves. it was super tangy at first, but now i am hooked on it. but i would feel much better if it didn't have 12 grams of fat. kind of shooting myself in the foot here.

my dog ate a roach last night. i encouraged her to do so.

is it only 10:30 am?????? curse you, wednesday.

i'm waiting for lunch with the law student, then a visit to the local farmer's market. what's getting you through the day?