first of all, it's been a while. i honestly don't even know if this post will make it to the viewing public, because the blogger interface looks so different. i hope i'm doing this right. note to self: blog more so you'll see changes coming and be better equipped to deal.
quite a few things have happened/are happening in our life in hometown. i really have lots to share but today, i want to tell you the story i just lived. it's just a little story, in a little town, that i was blessed to share today, but i think it's pretty awesome.
i help organize our church's involvement in the presbyterian church's casserole kitchen ministry (follow the link if you'd like to get involved!) on the first saturday of every month. there's a lady who comes every time, and her name is ida mae. i think she's something of a local character. i also am the volunteer coordinator of the starkville community market (facebook link here) and saw her there this morning. after the market, and after i'd filled up my car with gas, i'd started on my way home when i saw ida mae walking home with her bag of vegetables and some flowers. she doesn't walk very well. and i heard the Still Small Voice, asking me to do a small thing and offer her a ride home. so i did, and she accepted. but i didn't take her home.
instead, she directed me to her neighbor's house, the one with the yellow truck. she told me he's 89 years old and recovering from pneumonia, and she wanted to go check on him and fix his medicine for him before she went to the casserole kitchen. we pulled in, and i got out with her, determined to follow this little path i'd been led down. she took me through the back gate.
knockout roses. day lilies, in orange and aubergine and pink and yellow. a covered cart of 50-year-old cacti. green plants on tiered tables. manicured grass. a pear tree. and an old man wearing an msu hat eating cereal on the porch. ida mae introduced us, and said she wanted to show me his garden. he commented he'd had to cut off his peppers, because the wind was knocking them down, and that'd he bought 2 trees once for $5, when he really couldn't afford more than 50 cents, and how mad his late wife had been. and then ida ma took my hand and gave me the tour. she showed me all of his plants, all of his flowers, all the different paths in his garden. she told me he still mows his own grass, and probably had that morning, even though his sight isn't very good. then she took me down to the back. tomatoes. peppers. rows of vegetables. ida mae's black and white dog. a grapevine, even. more lilies.
this backyard was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. i could see the love and the care and the attention this man had devoted to his bit of earth, and i was amazed. and i'd have never seen it. i'd have driven by his house and overlooked it and never have thought anything like this existed, just like ida mae said. i'd have never known that the lady who comes to get a hot meal, who can't walk very well or even uncurl her fingers, who probably doesn't have a lot in this world, takes care of her old sick neighbor simply because he needs it. i'd have never known this story.
i left ida mae to take care of her neighbor and drove home. i couldn't help thinking how God is exactly like that. He asks us to do small things, things we may think are uncomfortable or inconvenient or unimportant, and then shows us enormous beauty and kindness we never expect. so often we ignore Him, and we miss it. today, i was blessed by two pretty inconspicuous strangers, and i got to share a piece of that story and that beauty. what Love the Father has for His children.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Thursday, June 16, 2011
drowning in monotony
that title is not really true, but it feels that way. while i am on hold for MDES, thought i'd catch y'all up and explain my lackluster blogging in list form, because it makes me happy.
1. it's hot. and humid. it's mississippi.
2. i'm getting bogged down with life. work, working out, keeping up with life and the uncertainty that lays before us consume most of my time.
3. we started watching weeds. it's eating my life. i actually went on hiatus last week - it got that bad. plus, i'm a little upset with nancy at the moment, and felt i needed a break to regroup.
4. did i mention uncertainty? job uncertainty is not a good feeling. but it's allowing me to choose God over fear and stress every day, even though i must willingly turn my mind from the "what ifs" that abound hourly.
5. my summer schedule is jam-packed. i'll just give a quick rundown, in order of this weekend to august 13. hometown (shower for sister), hometown (party for sister), two free weekends, vegas (bach party for sister), nola (wedding), jackson (wedding), one free weekend and then sister's wedding here in smalltown. too bad we have to be out of our current home before august 1. yes, that is six events in the next nine weeks. in between that, we must move and find employment. did i mention my mother moved too? life is changing, and fast. i can barely keep up.
i hope i don't get pregnant anytime soon either. wouldn't that be awesome? then i'd be unemployed, homeless and knocked up at the end of the summer.
1. it's hot. and humid. it's mississippi.
2. i'm getting bogged down with life. work, working out, keeping up with life and the uncertainty that lays before us consume most of my time.
3. we started watching weeds. it's eating my life. i actually went on hiatus last week - it got that bad. plus, i'm a little upset with nancy at the moment, and felt i needed a break to regroup.
4. did i mention uncertainty? job uncertainty is not a good feeling. but it's allowing me to choose God over fear and stress every day, even though i must willingly turn my mind from the "what ifs" that abound hourly.
5. my summer schedule is jam-packed. i'll just give a quick rundown, in order of this weekend to august 13. hometown (shower for sister), hometown (party for sister), two free weekends, vegas (bach party for sister), nola (wedding), jackson (wedding), one free weekend and then sister's wedding here in smalltown. too bad we have to be out of our current home before august 1. yes, that is six events in the next nine weeks. in between that, we must move and find employment. did i mention my mother moved too? life is changing, and fast. i can barely keep up.
i hope i don't get pregnant anytime soon either. wouldn't that be awesome? then i'd be unemployed, homeless and knocked up at the end of the summer.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
cliffhanger post conclusion, wednesday wussy edition
remember that thursday when i told you about that really neat thing that God did for us? i wish i had different words to type, because right now i am thoroughly confused. i thought a wednesday wussy post would be appropriate.
mystery revealed: that post was about jobs - my current one, and a prospective one. see? not baby lang.
i found out that tuesday my position here needed to change to part-time, especially since they already know we are planning to move. we were not expecting that, and really can't afford it. that's when i sent out the mass text to friends, asking for prayer and praising God for His, plan, because i knew He had one. i sent out a few emails that night, and by 3 pm the next day, i had an interview scheduled with a large firm back home, with a bonus offer to help my husband land a job. i just knew that was God, telling us we were in the palm of His hand.
i had a great interview this past weekend. i was promised a job. "we are going to make you an offer on monday" were the words i heard. naturally, i was very excited and just amazed how smoothly and seamlessly God had orchestrated all the details. i mean, think about it: my job here was going to drastically change, the next day i had an interview, the timing gave me plenty of time to take care of my old job, and after the interview i was promised a job offer with most likely way better money, a sense of security and quite possibly an employed law student. i was eagerly awaiting that email, and feeling very satisfied with myself* for stepping out in faith and that God had answered our prayers beyond our expectations.
*insert heaping helping of humility here.
i didn't get that email monday, but i got it yesterday. they did not extend the offer. they have decided to keep it internal and not create the position. i was absolutely shocked, and very upset. not only did this disrupt the plans we had been making and the plan we thought God had designed for us, but it also seriously altered today's blog post. i am supposed to be blogging about how i have a new job that God provided!
epic fail.
so, friends and readers, that is the big update, and it is not at all what i thought was going to happen. and i am finding out just how hard faith is sometimes. i was so sure God was working things out the first time, and really thought i knew what He was doing. i know just as i trusted God then, and knew He was not surprised, i know i have to trust His will and plan today, even thought i am hurt and confused. i know He is not surprised, and He will carry us.
mystery revealed: that post was about jobs - my current one, and a prospective one. see? not baby lang.
i found out that tuesday my position here needed to change to part-time, especially since they already know we are planning to move. we were not expecting that, and really can't afford it. that's when i sent out the mass text to friends, asking for prayer and praising God for His, plan, because i knew He had one. i sent out a few emails that night, and by 3 pm the next day, i had an interview scheduled with a large firm back home, with a bonus offer to help my husband land a job. i just knew that was God, telling us we were in the palm of His hand.
i had a great interview this past weekend. i was promised a job. "we are going to make you an offer on monday" were the words i heard. naturally, i was very excited and just amazed how smoothly and seamlessly God had orchestrated all the details. i mean, think about it: my job here was going to drastically change, the next day i had an interview, the timing gave me plenty of time to take care of my old job, and after the interview i was promised a job offer with most likely way better money, a sense of security and quite possibly an employed law student. i was eagerly awaiting that email, and feeling very satisfied with myself* for stepping out in faith and that God had answered our prayers beyond our expectations.
*insert heaping helping of humility here.
i didn't get that email monday, but i got it yesterday. they did not extend the offer. they have decided to keep it internal and not create the position. i was absolutely shocked, and very upset. not only did this disrupt the plans we had been making and the plan we thought God had designed for us, but it also seriously altered today's blog post. i am supposed to be blogging about how i have a new job that God provided!
epic fail.
so, friends and readers, that is the big update, and it is not at all what i thought was going to happen. and i am finding out just how hard faith is sometimes. i was so sure God was working things out the first time, and really thought i knew what He was doing. i know just as i trusted God then, and knew He was not surprised, i know i have to trust His will and plan today, even thought i am hurt and confused. i know He is not surprised, and He will carry us.
Friday, May 6, 2011
rox in box, aka friday post numero dos
ever try to do something good and have it turn out really wrong? me too. this wednesday. let me tell you how i managed to cause the maiming of my dog.
the law student and i had been bickering a bit this week, just generally getting on each other's nerves. or so i thought - he had no idea. men. so wednesday afternoon, i thought spending time together on a walk on our favorite trails would give us a good relationship re-charge. and it did, after he quit complaining about how he didn't want to go walking with me.
it is important to note that here in small town, i feel relatively safe leaving my keys in my car if i don't want to keep up with them. this only happens at the park and trails, mainly because i managed to lose a key in the grass once and here to the adage "trust in God but lock your car." you can see where this post is going.
we walked about 5 miles total, in a uncharacteristically chilly may evening. we arrive back at the car, only to find the doors locked, with the keys & phone (per usual) locked inside. it was getting darker, colder, and we were woefully underdressed. ben's comment: "i told you i didn't want to go walking with you." after waiting for someone to come off the trails, i found a kind bearded child (aka frat boy) with a bike and a pt cruiser (just seems like a funny combo to me) who let me use his phone to contact our landlord, who came to pick us up, take us home and unlock our house. we finally made it home around 9 pm, and i began making dinner. we rarely eat before 8 pm as it is, so it was pretty late even for us. wife of the year, right here.
i noticed roxy was acting strangely - walking in circles, sitting down & immediately standing up, laying down & tossing & turning, tucking her tail between her legs while staring up at me and just generally acting uncomfortable. we discovered some inflammation in her tail, but since it was so late at night, there was nothing we could do. poor roxy was so pitiful and obviously in pain and just couldn't get comfortable. so we put her in her box in our room and hoped for the best through the night. i just hated it for her.
yesterday she felt better, but still not good. i called the vet (whom we had just seen on monday and given $100) about it, and the law student brought her in. official diagnosis: dead tail. it's kind of like a sprain, or can happen after prolonged exercise or extreme temperature exposure. since we live in the south, roxy doesn't swim and is kind of a couch potato, we are pretty sure she injured in on our ride home in an unfamiliar car.
so, for the next 3 days, she has been prescribed complete rest and no excitement, otherwise she could lose the use of her tail. this means she must be confined to her roxbox and given pain medication (doggy aleve or something) twice a day. thank goodness it makes her sleepy. on monday we can let her out of the box, but no exercise for 2 more weeks. she is pretty pissed that her life sucks right now. she likes to sleep in her box, but prefers to spend daytime hours lounging on the couch or her pillow palace* on the floor. poor roxyface.
rox + box = frowny face.
*this reference is for brooke and rebecca. i miss being a kid.
the law student and i had been bickering a bit this week, just generally getting on each other's nerves. or so i thought - he had no idea. men. so wednesday afternoon, i thought spending time together on a walk on our favorite trails would give us a good relationship re-charge. and it did, after he quit complaining about how he didn't want to go walking with me.
it is important to note that here in small town, i feel relatively safe leaving my keys in my car if i don't want to keep up with them. this only happens at the park and trails, mainly because i managed to lose a key in the grass once and here to the adage "trust in God but lock your car." you can see where this post is going.
we walked about 5 miles total, in a uncharacteristically chilly may evening. we arrive back at the car, only to find the doors locked, with the keys & phone (per usual) locked inside. it was getting darker, colder, and we were woefully underdressed. ben's comment: "i told you i didn't want to go walking with you." after waiting for someone to come off the trails, i found a kind bearded child (aka frat boy) with a bike and a pt cruiser (just seems like a funny combo to me) who let me use his phone to contact our landlord, who came to pick us up, take us home and unlock our house. we finally made it home around 9 pm, and i began making dinner. we rarely eat before 8 pm as it is, so it was pretty late even for us. wife of the year, right here.
i noticed roxy was acting strangely - walking in circles, sitting down & immediately standing up, laying down & tossing & turning, tucking her tail between her legs while staring up at me and just generally acting uncomfortable. we discovered some inflammation in her tail, but since it was so late at night, there was nothing we could do. poor roxy was so pitiful and obviously in pain and just couldn't get comfortable. so we put her in her box in our room and hoped for the best through the night. i just hated it for her.
yesterday she felt better, but still not good. i called the vet (whom we had just seen on monday and given $100) about it, and the law student brought her in. official diagnosis: dead tail. it's kind of like a sprain, or can happen after prolonged exercise or extreme temperature exposure. since we live in the south, roxy doesn't swim and is kind of a couch potato, we are pretty sure she injured in on our ride home in an unfamiliar car.
so, for the next 3 days, she has been prescribed complete rest and no excitement, otherwise she could lose the use of her tail. this means she must be confined to her roxbox and given pain medication (doggy aleve or something) twice a day. thank goodness it makes her sleepy. on monday we can let her out of the box, but no exercise for 2 more weeks. she is pretty pissed that her life sucks right now. she likes to sleep in her box, but prefers to spend daytime hours lounging on the couch or her pillow palace* on the floor. poor roxyface.
rox + box = frowny face.
*this reference is for brooke and rebecca. i miss being a kid.
friday post numero uno
i'd like to share this site with you:
http://blog.al.com/wire/2011/05/tuscaloosa_tornado_experience.html
if you live in the south, you know that last week we were ripped up by deathly tornadoes from huge seemingly never-ending storm systems. whole towns are gone. small town managed to dodge about 8 of them last wednesday - i still don't know how. smaller communities on the edges of town were less fortunate.
the tornado in the above story came right through the middle of tuscaloosa. but even with all the death, devastation and destruction, there are still stories of hope and miracles. Jesus was with us in these storms, and this post is a reminder of His love when we need it most.
http://blog.al.com/wire/2011/05/tuscaloosa_tornado_experience.html
if you live in the south, you know that last week we were ripped up by deathly tornadoes from huge seemingly never-ending storm systems. whole towns are gone. small town managed to dodge about 8 of them last wednesday - i still don't know how. smaller communities on the edges of town were less fortunate.
the tornado in the above story came right through the middle of tuscaloosa. but even with all the death, devastation and destruction, there are still stories of hope and miracles. Jesus was with us in these storms, and this post is a reminder of His love when we need it most.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
how great is our God
"...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
it's true. i witnessed it yesterday.
i will share the entire story here later, but for now i give you:
the edited-for-dramatic-and-timing-purposes version.
(deep breath)
as many of my readers know, we are planning to move back home this summer. the law student is thrilled to bits and pieces. i have been considerably less so. not that i don't love our hometown, but i was hoping for something bigger, with more people and culture and art and music and space and hills...you get the idea. but, my reasons are all emotional. the law student's are irritatingly practical, and apparently God, in His infinite wisdom, wants us there. how do you effectively argue with the Creator while throwing a fit like a 3-year-old? that's been my struggle.
well, we hit a hiccup on tuesday. i got some very unexpected news that impacts us considerably.
and no, it's not baby lang, for those (all) of you who are wondering.
i knew God knew what was up. He was not surprised. He has guided us back home so far, and i knew He was going to provide, even in this. so i sent a text to family and friends, asking for prayer over the situation and praise for His plan. i received so many responses - they mean so much! needless to say, the law student didn't handle this news very well, so tuesday night was kind of blah, and i went to bed a little upset, but not shaken.
y'all.
God answered that prayer. YESTERDAY. in less than 24 hours. and with a bonus to boot. my face almost fell off. i could never have imagined something this perfect, and i know it's because we stepped out in faith. how could i have ever doubted His plan to move us home?
i can't wait to share the ENTIRE story with you - just give me a week or so.
squeal!
it's true. i witnessed it yesterday.
i will share the entire story here later, but for now i give you:
the edited-for-dramatic-and-timing-purposes version.
(deep breath)
as many of my readers know, we are planning to move back home this summer. the law student is thrilled to bits and pieces. i have been considerably less so. not that i don't love our hometown, but i was hoping for something bigger, with more people and culture and art and music and space and hills...you get the idea. but, my reasons are all emotional. the law student's are irritatingly practical, and apparently God, in His infinite wisdom, wants us there. how do you effectively argue with the Creator while throwing a fit like a 3-year-old? that's been my struggle.
well, we hit a hiccup on tuesday. i got some very unexpected news that impacts us considerably.
and no, it's not baby lang, for those (all) of you who are wondering.
i knew God knew what was up. He was not surprised. He has guided us back home so far, and i knew He was going to provide, even in this. so i sent a text to family and friends, asking for prayer over the situation and praise for His plan. i received so many responses - they mean so much! needless to say, the law student didn't handle this news very well, so tuesday night was kind of blah, and i went to bed a little upset, but not shaken.
y'all.
God answered that prayer. YESTERDAY. in less than 24 hours. and with a bonus to boot. my face almost fell off. i could never have imagined something this perfect, and i know it's because we stepped out in faith. how could i have ever doubted His plan to move us home?
i can't wait to share the ENTIRE story with you - just give me a week or so.
squeal!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
lyrics
we sang the song below at church on palm sunday.
i probably hadn't been to church in 2 - 3 weeks, and had just broken lent the night before (one of two times). a woman from pakistan, a graduate student here, spoke about her family's persecution from their own government over their christianity, and another woman they knew who was in prison for allegedly speaking out against islam. this woman has contracted chicken pox, likely due from fasting during lent.
in prison.
that hit me like a ton of bricks, and still does. these people are suffering for the Lord - what have i done or had to endure for Him?
hope you enjoy the lyrics.
i probably hadn't been to church in 2 - 3 weeks, and had just broken lent the night before (one of two times). a woman from pakistan, a graduate student here, spoke about her family's persecution from their own government over their christianity, and another woman they knew who was in prison for allegedly speaking out against islam. this woman has contracted chicken pox, likely due from fasting during lent.
in prison.
that hit me like a ton of bricks, and still does. these people are suffering for the Lord - what have i done or had to endure for Him?
hope you enjoy the lyrics.
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulder
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
*disclaimer - please know this post is not bashing islam or muslims. i am simply relaying a story from a woman i heard at church.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
days 15 - 18
day 15 - bible verse
"see, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."
- isaiah 49:16
"see, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."
- isaiah 49:16
day 16 - dream house
don't even get me started.
i love bungalow, cottage & craftsman-style homes. must have a huge porch.
dream house is in the mountains, quiet, comfortable and liveable and impeccably decorated, completely paid for, and full of love.
don't even get me started.
i love bungalow, cottage & craftsman-style homes. must have a huge porch.
dream house is in the mountains, quiet, comfortable and liveable and impeccably decorated, completely paid for, and full of love.
day 17 - something you're looking forward to
christmas, of course! seeing the family and hopefully some friends,
and 24 hours of a christmas story, coming to a tbs near you.
also: mississippi state's bowl game over new year's with the law student.
christmas, of course! seeing the family and hopefully some friends,
and 24 hours of a christmas story, coming to a tbs near you.
also: mississippi state's bowl game over new year's with the law student.
day 18 - something you regret
hmm...usually it's something i say. also found here: my senior year of high school's haircut, not spending enough time with my grandfather, not studying abroad in college, and a few select college-era fashion choices and/or alcohol-induced antics.
hmm...usually it's something i say. also found here: my senior year of high school's haircut, not spending enough time with my grandfather, not studying abroad in college, and a few select college-era fashion choices and/or alcohol-induced antics.
Monday, November 29, 2010
day 13
hello, my name is kissey and i'm a blog slacker.
#13 - goals
i always hated having to list goals, because that meant coming up with goals, and while i have been accused of being a type-A person, my goals are vague and modest at best. it has just never interested me in the least to think of goals and then write them down.
short-term goals - to not get pregnant in 2010, be the wife of an employed husband, control my tongue and to get in awesome, 19-year-old-self shape. oh, and visit graceland. seriously.
long-term goals - to document my life consistently in pictures, walk closely with God, not screw up my kids, paint more, watch my words, and improve my home-decor skill set.
basically, be happy and healthy with a strong family and close walk with God and do His work, all while staying skinny, of course.
#13 - goals
i always hated having to list goals, because that meant coming up with goals, and while i have been accused of being a type-A person, my goals are vague and modest at best. it has just never interested me in the least to think of goals and then write them down.
short-term goals - to not get pregnant in 2010, be the wife of an employed husband, control my tongue and to get in awesome, 19-year-old-self shape. oh, and visit graceland. seriously.
long-term goals - to document my life consistently in pictures, walk closely with God, not screw up my kids, paint more, watch my words, and improve my home-decor skill set.
basically, be happy and healthy with a strong family and close walk with God and do His work, all while staying skinny, of course.
Monday, November 22, 2010
day 12
#12 - what i believe
i always say people behave the way they really believe.
but it's not always true.
but it's not always true.
John 11:27
She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Christ, God’s Son,
he who comes into the world.”
i believe God is Who He says He is.
i believe His promises and the redeeming power of His blood.
i believe the world rejects Him.
i believe my sin nailed Him to the cross.
i believe He rose and conquered the grave.
i believe He is sovereign over all.
i believe He rejoices and mourns with us.
i believe He is here with us, and He is good.
i believe Jesus saves.
it is hard to be in the world, and not of it. it is hard for me to follow God sometimes and show Him to others, like when i am tired or angry or stressed or even just lazy and selfish. i have so much sin in my heart.
it's hard to trust God when life comes crashing down around us, when i see so much pain and suffering in the world, or when i don't understand.
but He still loves me so, even with all my failure and all my doubt.
so i will choose each day to believe in the One who knows my sin and remembers it no more.
She said to him, “Yes, Lord. I have come to believe that you are the Christ, God’s Son,
he who comes into the world.”
i believe God is Who He says He is.
i believe His promises and the redeeming power of His blood.
i believe the world rejects Him.
i believe my sin nailed Him to the cross.
i believe He rose and conquered the grave.
i believe He is sovereign over all.
i believe He rejoices and mourns with us.
i believe He is here with us, and He is good.
i believe Jesus saves.
it is hard to be in the world, and not of it. it is hard for me to follow God sometimes and show Him to others, like when i am tired or angry or stressed or even just lazy and selfish. i have so much sin in my heart.
it's hard to trust God when life comes crashing down around us, when i see so much pain and suffering in the world, or when i don't understand.
but He still loves me so, even with all my failure and all my doubt.
so i will choose each day to believe in the One who knows my sin and remembers it no more.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
day 10
#10 - something i'm afraid of
i'm pretty sure everyone will get a kick out of this.
spiders.
being left behind after the rapture - seriously.
the thought of sky-diving or bungee jumping.
taking pregnancy tests.
the thought of childbirth.
small spaces from which i cannotrun from screaming escape.
spiders.
being left behind after the rapture - seriously.
the thought of sky-diving or bungee jumping.
taking pregnancy tests.
the thought of childbirth.
small spaces from which i cannot
Thursday, November 4, 2010
heart strings
my heart is heavy this week.
first and foremost, the bulldog nation mourns the passing of one of our own, nick bell. this kid went from playing football on september 24, 2010, to gone on november 2, 2010. he was bright, humble, and just beginning to shine, but cancer doesn't fight fair. #36 will always be remembered.
http://blogs.clarionledger.com/msu/2010/11/02/bell-after-short-battle-with-cancer/
video of memorial in the junction
secondly, my friend's uncle is also losing his battle with cancer. cancer. sucks. see above. their families are really really close, and cancer has struck them so many times over and over - her father, her uncle, her aunt, her cousin's wife, the wife's sister - it's almost creepy. and so now, they prepare for the inevitable. and it is hard and it is painful. why God chooses to heal one and not another is a mystery. i hurt for my friend and her family.
katie from uganda (amazima) lost one of her daughters. i can't imagine the sense of loss, of injustice, the physical pain of her heart.
it's so hard to understand God sometimes, to fathom why He allows such pain and sorrow for any of us, why He heals one and not another, why He sometimes seems so far away and unmoved. and it is hard to cling to the fact that God is good, all of the time, and can't be anything else. it's just hard. and it hurts. but it's also hard for me to understand His love for me, His unfathomable and unending love, that drenches us in mercy, grace, compassion and kindess, even in the midst of our pain and our doubt. He is here. He is with katie and her daughter. He is with my friend's uncle. He is with the bell family. and His heart hurts with theirs. so i will trust my God, who goes with us when He takes us to hard places.
speaking of hard places, i read this verse today: james 2:20 - 24
"you foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? was not our ancestor abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son issac on the altar? you see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. and the scripture was fulfilled that says, “abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. you see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."
that is hard. and yet God was there with him. and He provided a ram, not only to abraham, but to us as well, hanging on a cross. i'm so scared of only giving lip service to God, when the bible commands us to follow Him, to go where He goes, taking His good news to the sick, the poor, the hungry, the orphans - to do, not just hear, to have my faith live out in my actions. that is uncomfortable for me. it is so much easier to just go to church, read our bible study together, sing along to christian radio, and tell people i am a christian and all the good things about God and Jesus and stay in my little bubble. but i believe God, and i believe He is good, and His heart is for everyone, not just me. i want faith like abraham. and while i don't think God is trying to create a new hebrew nation out of me, i still want to say "yes" with no hesitation or doubt, or even anger, when He tells me to go to the hard places with Him.
first and foremost, the bulldog nation mourns the passing of one of our own, nick bell. this kid went from playing football on september 24, 2010, to gone on november 2, 2010. he was bright, humble, and just beginning to shine, but cancer doesn't fight fair. #36 will always be remembered.
http://blogs.clarionledger.com/msu/2010/11/02/bell-after-short-battle-with-cancer/
video of memorial in the junction
secondly, my friend's uncle is also losing his battle with cancer. cancer. sucks. see above. their families are really really close, and cancer has struck them so many times over and over - her father, her uncle, her aunt, her cousin's wife, the wife's sister - it's almost creepy. and so now, they prepare for the inevitable. and it is hard and it is painful. why God chooses to heal one and not another is a mystery. i hurt for my friend and her family.
katie from uganda (amazima) lost one of her daughters. i can't imagine the sense of loss, of injustice, the physical pain of her heart.
it's so hard to understand God sometimes, to fathom why He allows such pain and sorrow for any of us, why He heals one and not another, why He sometimes seems so far away and unmoved. and it is hard to cling to the fact that God is good, all of the time, and can't be anything else. it's just hard. and it hurts. but it's also hard for me to understand His love for me, His unfathomable and unending love, that drenches us in mercy, grace, compassion and kindess, even in the midst of our pain and our doubt. He is here. He is with katie and her daughter. He is with my friend's uncle. He is with the bell family. and His heart hurts with theirs. so i will trust my God, who goes with us when He takes us to hard places.
speaking of hard places, i read this verse today: james 2:20 - 24
"you foolish man, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? was not our ancestor abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son issac on the altar? you see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. and the scripture was fulfilled that says, “abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. you see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone."
that is hard. and yet God was there with him. and He provided a ram, not only to abraham, but to us as well, hanging on a cross. i'm so scared of only giving lip service to God, when the bible commands us to follow Him, to go where He goes, taking His good news to the sick, the poor, the hungry, the orphans - to do, not just hear, to have my faith live out in my actions. that is uncomfortable for me. it is so much easier to just go to church, read our bible study together, sing along to christian radio, and tell people i am a christian and all the good things about God and Jesus and stay in my little bubble. but i believe God, and i believe He is good, and His heart is for everyone, not just me. i want faith like abraham. and while i don't think God is trying to create a new hebrew nation out of me, i still want to say "yes" with no hesitation or doubt, or even anger, when He tells me to go to the hard places with Him.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
in the spirit of halloween
a post about chocolate.
apparently, most chocolate is made with child slave labor. did not know this.
read this blog post yesterday. "we can lick the chocolate off, but the blood is still there."
yuck.
tonight, the international justice mission is showing the documentary "the dark side of chocolate" on the UM campus. link here for info. i encourage you to see it if you live in this area.
coincidence? probably not. i love it when God just kind of sets things down in my lap like that. so, now i'm totally convicted about my chocolate purchasing habits. i found this list of fair trade chocolate, but it's over a year old, so you may want to research more.
4 links in one post. i'm helpful like that.
so, now you know. read, be educated, pray, and then DO.
apparently, most chocolate is made with child slave labor. did not know this.
read this blog post yesterday. "we can lick the chocolate off, but the blood is still there."
yuck.
tonight, the international justice mission is showing the documentary "the dark side of chocolate" on the UM campus. link here for info. i encourage you to see it if you live in this area.
coincidence? probably not. i love it when God just kind of sets things down in my lap like that. so, now i'm totally convicted about my chocolate purchasing habits. i found this list of fair trade chocolate, but it's over a year old, so you may want to research more.
4 links in one post. i'm helpful like that.
so, now you know. read, be educated, pray, and then DO.
Friday, October 8, 2010
there's an app for that
this morning's gchat from friend:
started my period today
started my period today
just like iPeriod said i would
i keep up w/ it on my phone
there really is an app for everything.
kinda makes my stack (stack! success!) of nfp charts seem lame.
up next: something completely unrelated!
so, the law student and i are still reading (though woefully behind) the bible all the way through. last night, he tricked me into reading the family lineage of esau (we take turns reading). all was going well until i got to the name oholibamah. the bible has never made me laugh until last night. can you imagine if she got lost? ohoooooooooolibamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! where aaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooooooooou? so every time i read that name (and it was a lot), i said it like that. and laughed like it was the funniest thing i'd ever said.
note: genesis is long and repetitive. can't wait until we get to leviticus, numbers and deuteronomy, which is bound to be full of names i can't pronounce, printed over and over again in differently-arranged-but-still-same-ole-thing sentences.
there really is an app for everything.
kinda makes my stack (stack! success!) of nfp charts seem lame.
up next: something completely unrelated!
so, the law student and i are still reading (though woefully behind) the bible all the way through. last night, he tricked me into reading the family lineage of esau (we take turns reading). all was going well until i got to the name oholibamah. the bible has never made me laugh until last night. can you imagine if she got lost? ohoooooooooolibamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! where aaaaaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooooooooooooou? so every time i read that name (and it was a lot), i said it like that. and laughed like it was the funniest thing i'd ever said.
note: genesis is long and repetitive. can't wait until we get to leviticus, numbers and deuteronomy, which is bound to be full of names i can't pronounce, printed over and over again in differently-arranged-but-still-same-ole-thing sentences.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
epic PASS
as most of you already know,
he PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!
SQUEAL!
my retirement party will commence within the year. ha. kidding, student loan holder, kidding.
so, as is required, he has a new name here on ze blog: the esquire. and since so many of you whom i texted "he's an esquire!" responded with "yay! what's that mean?," i have looked it up for you. my favorite part of this definition comes from wikipedia: a term of British origin (ultimately from Latin scutarius in the sense of shield bearer via Old French "esquier"). An unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance, it is used to denote a high but indeterminate social status.
hahaha.
but really. basically, it was used way back when to denote a particular status (or non-status, as the case seems to be) in the english hierarchical system, and has since been adopted by the legal community here in the states.
back to the man of the hour. i couldn't be more proud. law school is no cake walk. i know--i edited many a paper, endured many a lonely night while the law student was at the library, and listened to countless recitations of cases and laws on the nights before exams. talk about your pillow talk. but all the way through, i never doubted he could do it. he moved to LA after only one semester of college to be an actor, and had a good degree of success and supported himself. after 5 years of acting, the man moved back home and finished his undergrad in two years. he studied for the LSAT by himself with enormous discipline and drive. he tutored undergrad students all through law school. he wrote papers, studied relentlessly, passed his exams and even graduated with honors. no small feat. he may have complained, he may have worried, he may have doubted, but he never quit. and now, with the bar exam successfully behind him, we're both ready for the next chapter. and even though the "right now" seems so uncertain, we know the Lord goes before us and makes a way, and His provision these past three years were not in vain.
**i would also like to add that the esquire is now following my blog. finally.
he PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!
SQUEAL!
my retirement party will commence within the year. ha. kidding, student loan holder, kidding.
so, as is required, he has a new name here on ze blog: the esquire. and since so many of you whom i texted "he's an esquire!" responded with "yay! what's that mean?," i have looked it up for you. my favorite part of this definition comes from wikipedia: a term of British origin (ultimately from Latin scutarius in the sense of shield bearer via Old French "esquier"). An unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance, it is used to denote a high but indeterminate social status.
hahaha.
but really. basically, it was used way back when to denote a particular status (or non-status, as the case seems to be) in the english hierarchical system, and has since been adopted by the legal community here in the states.
back to the man of the hour. i couldn't be more proud. law school is no cake walk. i know--i edited many a paper, endured many a lonely night while the law student was at the library, and listened to countless recitations of cases and laws on the nights before exams. talk about your pillow talk. but all the way through, i never doubted he could do it. he moved to LA after only one semester of college to be an actor, and had a good degree of success and supported himself. after 5 years of acting, the man moved back home and finished his undergrad in two years. he studied for the LSAT by himself with enormous discipline and drive. he tutored undergrad students all through law school. he wrote papers, studied relentlessly, passed his exams and even graduated with honors. no small feat. he may have complained, he may have worried, he may have doubted, but he never quit. and now, with the bar exam successfully behind him, we're both ready for the next chapter. and even though the "right now" seems so uncertain, we know the Lord goes before us and makes a way, and His provision these past three years were not in vain.
**i would also like to add that the esquire is now following my blog. finally.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
thoughts
the law graduate and i have read radical: taking back your faith from the american dream by david platt, and are now reading the bible together in 1 year. we get up every morning, pray, then read, then pray. it's good. and as much as it physically pains me to get up that early and read, i miss it if i don't do it. p.s. i already know this, but genesis is loooooong. and a bit strange.
current facebook status: Football. Bulldogs. Starkville. Friends. Maroon. Can't. Wait.
i think if you ask your man to go buy you tampons, he should be ecstatic, not embarassed. because when he buys said tampons, it not only shows that he does, in fact, have a relationship with a woman, but also that the woman is not pregnant. i think this is a good thing.
getting old sucks. i have these crazy "blond" hairs and a rather persistent 5 pounds that threatens my wardrobe. and then there's that thing called responsibility. i'm pretty sure i should have it all together by now. i don't.
current facebook status: Football. Bulldogs. Starkville. Friends. Maroon. Can't. Wait.
i think if you ask your man to go buy you tampons, he should be ecstatic, not embarassed. because when he buys said tampons, it not only shows that he does, in fact, have a relationship with a woman, but also that the woman is not pregnant. i think this is a good thing.
getting old sucks. i have these crazy "blond" hairs and a rather persistent 5 pounds that threatens my wardrobe. and then there's that thing called responsibility. i'm pretty sure i should have it all together by now. i don't.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
carolina in my mind
once again, i'm back from vacation with a big case of wanderlust and general dissatisfaction with my current geographical standing. however, every time i bring up the subject, the job-searching law graduate ever-so-kindly reminds me that 1) it is more realistic to get a job in our home state, 2) bar exams are expensive and not exactly in our budget, and 3) no one is going to hire him and pay for him to take the bar in a new state. sigh. but not really the point of my post. the real point of my post is to update you on our lastest cross-continential trip.
after a late night and an even later start, we arrived in carolina for a weekend visit with tim, sara and olivia. after about 9 hours in the car, we arrived to a home-cooked dinner and fabulous dessert (i'll post the recipe once i get it) and just hung out. saturday morning was a bit rainy, but nonetheless we drove up a big blue mountain (with limited visibility due to fog and rain) to pick blueberries. we were soaked in a matter of minutes, but the berries were delicious. we did have to abandon our trip out to sliding rock though. we went back home for fabulous italian takeout and a walk downtown. sunday began with church and lunch out. miss olivia did fantastically--hardly got upset at all! we drove to jump off rock to get a view of 5 different states over the mountains. you don't actually jump off though. there's a railing preventing people from being too literal. we went to park to walk around and let olivia watch the skater kids, then came home and cooked out. can i just tell you my fabulous sister-in-law cooked us not only dinner and desserts, but breakfast? i never cook breakfast, unless it's 9 am on a saturday and i have nothing to do. we had such a great time visiting with tim and sara and playing with olivia, we just hated to leave. she's so fun now! she's starting to crawl and has 4 teeth. she's starting to eat table food and will constantly talk to you. she especially likes to walk with you. she's so sweet i could eat her with a spoon! i'll leave you with pictures of the cutest family member:
olivia
2 brothers and a baby
after a late night and an even later start, we arrived in carolina for a weekend visit with tim, sara and olivia. after about 9 hours in the car, we arrived to a home-cooked dinner and fabulous dessert (i'll post the recipe once i get it) and just hung out. saturday morning was a bit rainy, but nonetheless we drove up a big blue mountain (with limited visibility due to fog and rain) to pick blueberries. we were soaked in a matter of minutes, but the berries were delicious. we did have to abandon our trip out to sliding rock though. we went back home for fabulous italian takeout and a walk downtown. sunday began with church and lunch out. miss olivia did fantastically--hardly got upset at all! we drove to jump off rock to get a view of 5 different states over the mountains. you don't actually jump off though. there's a railing preventing people from being too literal. we went to park to walk around and let olivia watch the skater kids, then came home and cooked out. can i just tell you my fabulous sister-in-law cooked us not only dinner and desserts, but breakfast? i never cook breakfast, unless it's 9 am on a saturday and i have nothing to do. we had such a great time visiting with tim and sara and playing with olivia, we just hated to leave. she's so fun now! she's starting to crawl and has 4 teeth. she's starting to eat table food and will constantly talk to you. she especially likes to walk with you. she's so sweet i could eat her with a spoon! i'll leave you with pictures of the cutest family member:
olivia
2 brothers and a babyThursday, August 5, 2010
prayer requests
so, while blog stalking this morning, i found this post. please pray for this family.
also, one of my dearest friends has been in the hospital this week battling an infection. she should be able to go home in a few days, so pray for her upcoming release and recovery.
(Matthew 9:35 NKJV) Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
also, one of my dearest friends has been in the hospital this week battling an infection. she should be able to go home in a few days, so pray for her upcoming release and recovery.
(Matthew 9:35 NKJV) Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.
(Psalm 30:2) O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.
Monday, June 14, 2010
a promise
i was reading psalm 90 the other night. here it is below.
Lord, you have been our dwelling place
in all generations.
2 Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You return man to dust
and say, “Return, O children of man!”
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are but as yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.
5 You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
6 in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.
7 For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath we are dismayed.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.
11 Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?
12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
and your wrath according to the fear of you?
12 So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.
13 Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
and for as many years as we have seen evil.
16 Let your work be shown to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children.
17 Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever You had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God.
and right there, right in front of my face--my promise from my Father that HE is the Lord, and always has been, and always will be. Nothing escapes Him. He does not leave, He does not change, He does not forget, and He never will. and even when it feels like He has not heard, or seems like He is doing nothing, i remember He is right there, mourning with me. from everlasting to everlasting. i will cling to that.
Friday, April 23, 2010
umm, really?
ok, so who has heard of stephen baldwin? a brother of alec baldwin, proclaimed born-again Christian, actor, and has a show on AFR (american family radio).
my first encounter with stephen baldwin happened via friend marty. she used to work at afr and got to meet him once. here is proof.
in the link's video, apparently he makes remarks about harry potter. i've just realized i probably heard this diatribe on the radio one evening. sometimes i listen to afr to see what they are saying. i usually end up annoyed, amused or frightened. not always, but usually. in this particular show, he and another guy discussed harry potter and listened to caller's comments. and it was astonishing. stephen baldwin does not like harry potter--fine. but i really doubt parents are using it in place of the Bible, dude, and teaching their children sorcery. seriously--people would call in, you would hear their comments on the radio with your own ears, and then stephen baldwin would butcher and twist whatever they had just said. i remember listening to the show and baldwin would start with his over-inflated comments to a caller, and i would think, "that is not what that guy said." he got all over people for letting their kids read them, or even reading them themselves, or heaven forbid, see one of the movies! ok, i have never read the books, simply because i never wanted to give in to sensationalism. and i have no problem with parents being vigilant about what their children are exposed to. and if you happen to be convicted about them, fine! but i do not in any way believe harry potter books are anything more than kids' literature that also engages older readers.
anyway, that is not the point of my post.
what is the point is this website: www.restorestephenbaldwin.org. and then this one: www.imdb.com
on the first website, he is asking for people to give him money. he likens himself to job and (shocker) even quotes scripture to this effect. sorry, i fail to see the resemblance. you spent money outside your means and didn't pay your taxes. job was tested. and i'm pretty sure job didn't set up a fund asking people to restore him. so, stephen baldwin wants people to restore his wealth so he can be restored spiritually and God can be glorified? i imagine the only thing to be glorified is going to be his bottom line. he is not raising funds for God, but for himself. for himself, because he spent too much!!! he makes no mention of donating that money or using it for a just cause. it's purely to fill his bank account. just calling it like i see it.
part b, second website: imdb.com is for actors, movies, etc. you can even find the law student on there! but i won't tell you where. when you click on that link, please scroll down and find mr. baldwin's name attached to 3, possibly 4, movies. do you think he is doing those for free? just asking...
so there. my rant for the day. enjoy.
my first encounter with stephen baldwin happened via friend marty. she used to work at afr and got to meet him once. here is proof.
in the link's video, apparently he makes remarks about harry potter. i've just realized i probably heard this diatribe on the radio one evening. sometimes i listen to afr to see what they are saying. i usually end up annoyed, amused or frightened. not always, but usually. in this particular show, he and another guy discussed harry potter and listened to caller's comments. and it was astonishing. stephen baldwin does not like harry potter--fine. but i really doubt parents are using it in place of the Bible, dude, and teaching their children sorcery. seriously--people would call in, you would hear their comments on the radio with your own ears, and then stephen baldwin would butcher and twist whatever they had just said. i remember listening to the show and baldwin would start with his over-inflated comments to a caller, and i would think, "that is not what that guy said." he got all over people for letting their kids read them, or even reading them themselves, or heaven forbid, see one of the movies! ok, i have never read the books, simply because i never wanted to give in to sensationalism. and i have no problem with parents being vigilant about what their children are exposed to. and if you happen to be convicted about them, fine! but i do not in any way believe harry potter books are anything more than kids' literature that also engages older readers.
anyway, that is not the point of my post.
what is the point is this website: www.restorestephenbaldwin.org. and then this one: www.imdb.com
on the first website, he is asking for people to give him money. he likens himself to job and (shocker) even quotes scripture to this effect. sorry, i fail to see the resemblance. you spent money outside your means and didn't pay your taxes. job was tested. and i'm pretty sure job didn't set up a fund asking people to restore him. so, stephen baldwin wants people to restore his wealth so he can be restored spiritually and God can be glorified? i imagine the only thing to be glorified is going to be his bottom line. he is not raising funds for God, but for himself. for himself, because he spent too much!!! he makes no mention of donating that money or using it for a just cause. it's purely to fill his bank account. just calling it like i see it.
part b, second website: imdb.com is for actors, movies, etc. you can even find the law student on there! but i won't tell you where. when you click on that link, please scroll down and find mr. baldwin's name attached to 3, possibly 4, movies. do you think he is doing those for free? just asking...
so there. my rant for the day. enjoy.
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