me and my big mouth

my mouth keeps getting me into trouble. the scale has never consistently stayed above 115 for weeks (okay, months. shut up.) on end. i absolutely hate it. i have never really had to deal with weight issues--it's always been relatively easy for me to use mostly minimal or moderate effort to stay in shape. i've NEVER had to restrict my diet. or if i have, i don't remember and it must have been way easier, probably because i was too busy partying or working out to notice. i know my exercise quota is lower now, and my eating is up (part of being married is a hungry husband!), but man! i do pilates, walk the dog, have started to incorporate cardio--i'm hitting a wall here! and since all this extra is settling right onto my belly, it all comes back to my mouth. so, diet restrictions it is. and to keep me accountable, i'm going to blog what i eat. every day. i know you are about to pass out from all the excitement. here goes.

monday: coffee with cream and sugar (from now on, cwc&s), one slice roast pork with carrots and potatoes, spaghetti with meat sauce, 1 chik-fil-a chicken nugget dipped in polynesian sauce, and most of a chik-fil-a cookies and cream shake. it was not as good as regular cookies and cream ice cream. exercise: walked the rox 1.5 miles on the track.

tuesday: cwc&s, greek yogurt with strawberries, 1 pack peanut butter crackers, 1 slice american cheese and some raisins while waiting on dinner, spinach salad with carrots, tomatoes, croutons and ranch; rice; sauteed zucchini and some crazy mexican chicken dish i made: 1/2 chicken breast and a sauce made up of cream of mushroom soup, sour cream, roasted tomatoes and black beans. i tried to make fisherman's bake cod, but the fish was slimy after its defrost and stunk up the whole house, so we threw it out. i made this chicken dish up on the fly, and it turned out ok. i must remember it and improve upon it. exercise: walked roxy mostly 1.5 miles at the track, taught pilates for 1 hour, then 30 minutes on an elliptical.

not only does my mouth getting me in trouble by taking in too much, it also gets me in trouble by speaking too much. i am haunted by this passage in matthew 12.

A Tree Is Known by Its Fruit

33 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. 34 You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. 35 The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. 36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, 37 for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

jesus is talking to the pharisees here, but i think it applies. i've heard the phrase, "you will be held accountable for everything you say, not necessarily in a court of law." and i believe it to be true. our words are a direct reflection of the condition and contents of our hearts. jesus speaks harshly of a sharp tongue, and also clearly spells out there is no room for neutrality or fence-flopping in Him. words have power. it's truly terrifying to me to think that every word i have uttered, every curse, every shred of gossip and untruth and meanness, with or without thinking, will be used to judge me in the end. and it should be enough to scare the impulse out of me. i have struggled with this recently and am now recommitting to speak truth and kindness, even when i deem it undeserved, because i am undeserving.

wednesday wussy

it's back and in full force.

i have a caffeine-induced withdrawal headache. i only drink one cup of (super strong) coffee per morning, and the occasional coke during the week. so, we're not talking a lot of caffeine intake here. as with everything, this has a story. throughout high school, college and even a little bit after my marriage, i didn't drink coffee. or much, anyway. i did not need it to function, didn't even know how to make it (yes, i was easily outwitted by small kitchen appliances). and it usually made me shaky or run for the toilet (it has since lost that effect, much to my dismay, but that's another story). i did not start drinking coffee regularly until 1) we got a coffee maker for a wedding present (bless you, whoever you are) and 2) we moved to oxford and the law student (coffee freak) made it every morning. thus, the beginning of my friendship with/dependence on coffee. so sunday night, i ordered from alice.com and ordered coffee. went to the kroger last night and although that morning had thought to myself that we needed more coffee even with the alice.com order, i did not get any. and that really sucked this morning.

know what else sucks? getting pushed to the edge of your bed by your dog. the law student last night decided that roxy was cold, so i brought her kennel into our bedroom and we all went to sleep. normally, we close the kennel, but i didn't last night. so at 3 am, roxy wakes me up with whining. granted, she's still in her rox box instead of already on the bed, so she is still a "good dog." i put her in the bed. i jockey for position in my own bed for a good 45 minutes and then around 4 am, she snuggles in between us and pushes me away. so back in the rox box she goes, and i wake up again at 5:40 am. that dog wasn't cold one bit.

let's not even talk about the scale or the waistbands of most of my pants. or that chik-fil-A sandwich i just ate. but that coke sure hit the spot. caffeine crisis averted.