today's embarrassing food story brought to you by zaxby's

today at work, i had lunch duty. this happens every thursday. i didn't bring a lunch to eat, which happens almost every thursday. i also had a meeting, so sweet debe picked up a zaxby's zalad for me.

anyone else feel dumb reading "zalad?" 'cause i sure did typing it. but for the sake of continuity and brand recognition, i'll continue it throughout this post.

after my delicious and surprisingly filling blackened blue zalad, complete with two pieces of texas toast, i went to our break room to throw away my scraps. because no one likes a front desk that smells like warm lettuce and cheese. that, and every trash can in our entire office (like, twelve) is not actually a trash can, but rather a wastebasket, which is very limiting space-wise.

of course, someone else had been to zaxby's, and their zalad container was hogging the entire trash can. so i had to crouch down by the tiny trash to rearrange so i could fit my zalad container in there.

i mentioned the texas toast, right? two pieces? well, i only ate one of them.

as i was crouching, with my zalad bowl in hand and that second piece of butter-soaked white bread toast bound for the dumpster, i had a change of heart. i couldn't let it go - i needed to eat that second piece. i then proceeded to wolf it down, still crouching next to the trash in our break room at work. four bites, one gulp, no shame. the whole thing took less than one minute.

at this point in the story, i'd like to point out the toast never entered the trash. it was entirely contained in plastic, until it wasn't.

i don't know, rebecca, do they?

sister on the phone tonight, talking about getting a dog:

"do they even make dalmations anymore?"

let's start out with a goldfish and take it from there.

little surprises

first of all, it's been a while. i honestly don't even know if this post will make it to the viewing public, because the blogger interface looks so different. i hope i'm doing this right. note to self:  blog more so you'll see changes coming and be better equipped to deal.


quite a few things have happened/are happening in our life in hometown. i really have lots to share but today, i want to tell you the story i just lived. it's just a little story, in a little town, that i was blessed to share today, but i think it's pretty awesome.

i help organize our church's involvement in the presbyterian church's casserole kitchen ministry (follow the link if you'd like to get involved!) on the first saturday of every month. there's a lady who comes every time, and her name is ida mae. i think she's something of a local character. i also am the volunteer coordinator of the starkville community market (facebook link here) and saw her there this morning. after the market, and after i'd filled up my car with gas, i'd started on my way home when i saw ida mae walking home with her bag of vegetables and some flowers. she doesn't walk very well. and i heard the Still Small Voice, asking me to do a small thing and offer her a ride home. so i did, and she accepted. but i didn't take her home.

instead, she directed me to her neighbor's house, the one with the yellow truck. she told me he's 89 years old and recovering from pneumonia, and she wanted to go check on him and fix his medicine for him before she went to the casserole kitchen. we pulled in, and i got out with her, determined to follow this little path i'd been led down. she took me through the back gate.

knockout roses. day lilies, in orange and aubergine and pink and yellow. a covered cart of 50-year-old cacti. green plants on tiered tables. manicured grass. a pear tree. and an old man wearing an msu hat eating cereal on the porch. ida mae introduced us, and said she wanted to show me his garden. he commented he'd had to cut off his peppers, because the wind was knocking them down, and that'd he bought 2 trees once for $5, when he really couldn't afford more than 50 cents, and how mad his late wife had been. and then ida ma took my hand and gave me the tour. she showed me all of his plants, all of his flowers, all the different paths in his garden. she told me he still mows his own grass, and probably had that morning, even though his sight isn't very good. then she took me down to the back. tomatoes. peppers. rows of vegetables. ida mae's black and white dog. a grapevine, even. more lilies.

this backyard was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. i could see the love and the care and the attention this man had devoted to his bit of earth, and i was amazed. and i'd have never seen it. i'd have driven by his house and overlooked it and never have thought anything like this existed, just like ida mae said. i'd have never known that the lady who comes to get a hot meal, who can't walk very well or even uncurl her fingers, who probably doesn't have a lot in this world, takes care of her old sick neighbor simply because he needs it. i'd have never known this story.

i left ida mae to take care of her neighbor and drove home. i couldn't help thinking how God is exactly like that. He asks us to do small things, things we may think are uncomfortable or inconvenient or unimportant, and then shows us enormous beauty and kindness we never expect. so often we ignore Him, and we miss it. today, i was blessed by two pretty inconspicuous strangers, and i got to share a piece of that story and that beauty. what Love the Father has for His children.

update

news flash: i can run 13.1 miles. more on this later, as it really deserves its own post. plus, it gives me time to scrounge up cell phone photos from the lawyer and my mother.

the real point of this blog is to tell you to shop at deep south pout from april 23 - 28, and here's why: they're helping a family in starkville bring home their son from africa. how cool is that? read more about it here: http://thewesgordonfamily.blogspot.com/2012/04/deep-south-pout-is-helping-bringmaxhome.html

here's to bringing max home!

feeling the burn

today is not my day. let me count the ways.

slept in too late to go running. i also didn't run yesterday. it's going to rain all day, which means no running today and no jackson trip with dad to see becca.

while making breakfast, i managed to burn black plastic into my palm. i left some tongs too close to a still-red stove eye and grabbed them without thinking.

then, i set the same tongs back onto the same eye and burned more black plastic onto the stove.

my coffee got cold during all of this. more proof that i should drink coffee before doing anything else, always. so i heated it up, apparently far too long, and coffee erupted all in my microwave.

i'm not sure i should get out of my pajamas, much less out of the house.

adventures of sister in blogland

sister's got a blog!

http://eatwiseanna.blogspot.com/

while my blog is about my life observations and/or the troubles i find myself in, her blog is more productive. she will be blogging about the paleo diet and exercise. to me, it (paleo, not the blog) sounds un-fun, but then i've never liked a diet, ever. no doritos, no deal. i gotta be me.

check her out!

p.s. sister, you may want to post again...

speaking of exercise, did i tell you i am running a half-marathon? becca, anna and i are all running the big d in dallas. i've never run more than 10 minutes straight on a treadmill in my life. currently, i'm up to 5 miles non-stop. i can't get over myself. i've made some other self-discoveries as well. i don't like to run indoors on a treadmill, and i'm getting really good at spitting. wish us luck april 15!

rocky the flying squirrel

if you've been to visit us, you know we live in a little tree house in the woods in the middle of town. we're surrounded by woodland creatures: deer, 2 barking foxes, sink-lovin' lizards, owls, creepy crawlies, and a whole mess of kung-fu fighting squirrels that passionately battle out turf wars in our walls at least 4 times a day. our woods are also home to at least one flying squirrel. let me tell you how we met.

last friday morning i woke up at 5 am to some strange shuffling sounds. i heard papers ruffling and metal dinging and some scraping noises. i knew we had our first intruder and woke up the lawyer so we could have the classic "i-heard-a-strange-noise-downstairs" moment. so, down the stairs he went to investigate. he came back to bed empty-handed, said it must have been the dog, and promptly thanked me for making him feel like a man. i tried to back to sleep until 6, convincing myself roxy was just continually readjusting her position on the futon. loudly.

it is pertinent to note roxy was silent throughout this entire episode.

at 6 am, the alarm went off. i got up to silence it and heard a crash. silence from roxy's corner. our intruder was still at large and now breaking stuff. i ran downstairs, turning on all the lights and trying to find out what had fallen. as i entered the kitchen, i saw my kitchen spoon holder and a glass jar knocked over. and on the stove, peeking over the rim of a roasting dish, was a teeny tiny squirrel.

he was so cute, all balled up and looking at me from across the kitchen, as if to say, "oh, did i wake you? my bad, kids." i took a picture first, like anyone should, then thought about how to convince the little fella back out into the wild blue (ok, dark) yonder. someone had left peanut butter on the counter, so that seemed like my best bet. squirrels like peanut butter, right?

wrong. rocky was not having it. perched on the window ledge, i was all in his face with a spoon of peanut butter, and he was all, "why you think i want some peanut butter? who told you squirrels like peanut butter? get that spoon out of my face" and scurrying around behind the electronics, threatening to fry himself and start a house fire at the same time. let me lay this out for you - the lawyer and i were in our jammers, in the kitchen with all the lights on, me with a spoonful of peanut butter and him with a box, trying to communicate "get out of our house please" to a wide-eyed flying squirrel and our dog, our domesticated animal of prey and noted hunter of rodents, continued to lay on the futon totally unaffected. until she smelled the peanut butter and came out to beg. that's when rocky took a flying leap from the top of the door frame to the open pantry and threatened to overturn everything in it. after some instinctual quick moves on the lawyer's part, an open back door and lots of arm flailing and "no, rocky, not that way!" from me, rocky finally got the hint and took off. roxy's quizzical looks into the pantry were not a contributing factor.

i still have no idea how he got inside. i still am absolutely baffled by roxy's non-behavior. now all the creatures will have no fear of us. our house will be overrun by april. we might as well leave all our doors open. at least the peanut butter will be safe.

christmas apathy

well, wasn't this just a christmas for the books? i was a bit of a scrooge. well, more apathetic really. below, my christmas apathy in parts:

we didn't put up a tree. my mother bought me a fake tree when i was in an apartment in college. it served me faithfully through college and 4 years of marriage. but when we moved, i was tired of packing and really couldn't fit another thing into my car. so i left our faithful tree in the hall closet with intentions of buying a new one here. glad we didn't, because we had no room for one anywhere.

we didn't put up a wreath. when we moved to small town, mom got us a cute wreath hanger and a fall wreath. i'm not much for decorating, and the pretty christmas wreaths are insanely expensive, but last year i did finally get a cute pinecone wreath for christmas. pretty sure it's sitting in our storage unit right now, along with other life items.

we didn't put up a garland. because we've never put up a garland.

we didn't put up ornaments. no tree, remember? not even a tiny one. kind of sad, because we have some cute ornaments, and when we got married, my m-i-l gave me a whole box of ornaments that belonged to the lawyer as he grew up. awwww. however, a little christmas did sneak through via my mother. (are you picking up on that theme?)

the lone ranger

we didn't put up lights. even though my house is covered in christmas lights that no longer work, if they ever did. but i promise you we're not about to climb up and down ladders unstringing them. the only thing we could have decorated is the washing machine out front that lowe's didn't haul away. i think it would have been kind of awesome. it's a good thing we do not live on street front property, because i'm pretty sure our neighbors would have sued us or something.

we didn't put out the nativity. i'm actually a little sad about this one, because it's really pretty and i actually took it out of storage a few months ago. plus, it's the whole reason we even celebrate christmas. but it's just been hanging out in the boxes by my bathroom door/rack with the dog food.

we didn't get to see my mom and sisters on christmas day. for the first time in my entire life. it sucked, and i cried. twice.

the only upside to this whole christmas-decoration-avoidance? i don't have to put up a. single. thing. booyah! now, off to run (more on that later) followed by light dusting/vacuuming and more bulldog nation. happy new year!

This is why you need a list.

A list of things forgotten on our annual turkey day trip to hot springs.

-the lawyer's playbook (retrieved after we turned around for it)
-becca's purse, which includes most notably her id, cash money and lip gloss, and which we did not retrieve on our first false start
-tents left in storage instead of at our house for our friend to set up our tailgate
-the lawyer's left sneaker
-the lawyer's jacket
-the lawyer's humor

If you will note, I did not forget anything. And speaking of losing your humor...

The lawyer is generally even-keeled and a good sport about most things. So when he's in a bad mood, I usually a) get tickled, b) try not to "poke the bear," or c) both a) and b). Last night, the bear was in a bad mood. As we passed through the last town before the MS delta, he indicated he was hungry. After turning up his nose at the generous offerings of fast food, he settled on Taco Bell. Becca discovered her missing purse after we had our hearts set on some cheesy fiesta potatoes. We walked in to inform the lawyer. However, I couldn't even stay to enjoy his reaction because of another patron, who had made the unfortunate decision to accent his dylan-from-90210 brown haircut with orange racing-stripe highlights. I could not handle it - I had to leave before I laughed in his face. We finished our wait in the car. And then, the lawyer came back to the car with this gem of a story.

Ben: I'd like a steak burrito.

Taco Bell employee of the month: We don't have steak burritoes.

Ben: (looking up at the menu) Well, what do you have?

TBEOM: Steak Supreme Burrito.

Ben: Well, what makes it "supreme?"

TBEOM: Sour cream.

Ben: Then I'd like a steak supreme burrito without sour cream.

At this time, I'd like to issue a warning to all minimum-wage and middle-management personnel between here and there: Please don't poke the bear.

trick or teat

i dressed up as hello kitty for halloween. i was the cutest ever. an $8 headband and some face paint - yellow nose, black whiskers - also makes it one of the cheapest ever.

the office crew

after work, i went by my in-laws just to chat and show off my ridiculously cute alter-ego. i came home 2 hours later with a homemade chicken pot pie. i kind of love being back in hometown.

the lawyer and i recently purchased a small drop-leaf table and chairs. for the first time in over 4 years of marriage, we have a place besides the couch to eat dinner. so, naturally, i force us to eat dinner there as much as i can. unless we're having cheese puffs and/or ice cream for dinner, because then we have dinner on the couch.

i heated up the pot pie and set it in the middle of our table. i set out plates and silverware and poured 2 glasses of wine. since dinner was so fabulous, we didn't talk much during it. but towards the end of the meal, i noticed something.

sidebar - i am anal-retentive, bossy and stubborn.

the lawyer was holding his fork completely wrong. remember how beast held his fork in disney's beauty and the best and tried to slobber down the soup (or whatever) as it fell from his awkwardly-held utensil?

http://media.photobucket.com/image/beauty%20and%20the%20beast/LLSamSam/Gif%20Folder/tumblr_lhi829fY6f1qcetvf.gif?o=17

well, the lawyer wasn't that bad, but he was holding his silverware in the same awkward, scowl-inducing manner.

the lawyer: (oblivious)

kissey: what are you doing?

the lawyer: (still oblivious) what?

kissey: you're holding your fork wrong.

the lawyer: what? (eyes slant)

kissey: (scowling) you're holding your fork wrong. hold it like this. (demonstrates)

the lawyer: it's good. i'm hungry. leave me alone. plus, it's really hard to take you seriously with all that cat makeup on your face.

touche.

dinner plates

this is a 2-part post.

part 1: my dinner menu for the week. if you know me, or have worked with me, or have read any number of blog posts i've written, you know i like lists. my new coworkers love to inspect what i've jotted down or make fun of my non-sensical post-it notes, but i believe it only adds to my inexplicable charm. i like to write. it. down., then cross. it. off. it is a self-satisfying little thing i do. sometimes it causes me anxiety. but in those cases, i simply ignore the list. the real satisfaction comes from seeing activities numbered and printed on a random sheet of paper, and serves as a reminder of my potential. hence, there are many, many half-crossed lists around my house. apparently, i am not living up to my potential.

but tonight, there is a current, running list: our menu. i love a meal plan and accompanying grocery list, although i'm nowhere near as good as thisgirl. girlfriend is rockin' it! but back to me.

(list)

(uploaded from my new blogger app. smartphones are so NEAT.)

i try. i really do. and i have managed to really adhere to my dinner menu so far, so i'll recount it for you here. potential-measuring, if you will.

sunday - toasted gnocchi with pesto, tomatos & goat cheese. simple and yummy

monday - praise-the-braise chicken with feta & tomato. i love a crockpot. i improvised here with canned tomatoes with juice instead of broth and goat cheese.

tuesday - grilled lemon steelhead trout that looks suspiciously like salmon, with rice & brown sugar green beans.

wednesday - tricked-out pepperoni tombstone pizza. usually, it's leftovers, but i ate them for lunch today.

thursday - turkey turnovers. again with the subbing of goatcheese. mainly because i didn't feel like spending $15 on cheese, which is a major accomplishment for me.

friday - this says shrimp pesto pasta, but i'm betting on leftovers OR orange balsamic chicken thighs with spinach.

saturday - out of town. someone feed the lawyer, please.

sunday - this is usually pizza night, but i'm going with shrimp pesto pasta.

monday - leftovers, again usually reserved for wednesday nights.

tuesday - tuna steaks with rice and green beans (2 staples i keep stocked).

wednesday - black bean tortillas with prosciutto, goat cheese, corn and tomatoes.

thursday - pizza.

and that's as far as i've gotten. but i'm impressed with myself.

part 2: tonight's dinner conversation.

me: (mostly yapping about convos with friends while the lawyer gobbles up dinner)

the lawyer: (mostly gobbling while pretending to look interested in things he doesn't care about)

me: did you like it?

the lawyer: mmm, yes baby. really good. (exits table and opens deep freezer.)

me: are you getting ice cream?

the lawyer: yes.

me: what kind?

the lawyer: moose tracks.

me: can i have your wine?

this exchange is a total flip-flop of what normally happens.

back again

since my last post, i've had several meltdowns (all house-related), suffered several mind-numbing msu losses, missed my niece's 2nd birthday, gotten riled up countless times about prop 26 in MS, and acquired a short-lived tenant in the form of a lizard. he scurried in one friday afternoon, and was found last thursday evening in my sink. gross.

life has not been kind to my blogging schedule. i vow to do better. first on my list is my opinion on prop 26 this nov. 8.

for now, it's back to the daily grind.

roxy's revenge

it was a terrible tuesday.

it was so bad i haven't been able to even find energy to blog about it until thursday.

you see that photo? that was my tub filling up with water.

it's also my first mobile upload. insert smartphone pride here.

monday night, i decided the roxy needed a bath. she is not fond of them, but tolerates them well enough so she isn't a total pain. she's actually pretty accepting of this activity, or at least resigned to her occasional fate, which really just makes her all the more pitiful. and oh my gosh, those eyes. she will just look at me like i've betrayed her and shaken her faith in the natural order of things. but i'm tough and i get over it.

it was late in the evening, maybe 8:30, when we got done. the lawyer had promised to wash dishes. i was finishing up in the bathroom, and he was stacking pots and spoons, when i turned the water off in the tub. or tried.

see, our tub faucet had just been replaced. after that replacement, you couldn't actually stop turning the knob and have the water shut off. it would keep turning. so you kind of had to time the knob-turning to get it to the smallest leakage point, which was right before "full blast" again. i had gotten really good at it.

well.

i turned the knob. the water did not turn off. it didn't even switch to "leak." it just kept going.

so, water was pouring into my tub. the water level was rising. roxy's making a break for the living room rug to have a good shake. i kept turning. nothing.

i began to lose my cool.

i mean, it's bedtime, and the water won't turn off, and the water level is not going down. so i hollered for ben, a little shellshocked. he tinkered with it, but with no success. in fact, i was sure at that moment he had made it infinitely worse, but that's because i was becoming hysterical. next, i called our landlord. at 9 pm, because that's when landlords are able to take care of plumbing problems, you know. long story short, ben had to trek down our driveway in the dark to shut off the water main. then he had to come back and go back with a pair of pliers, because he needed those to actually turn the water off.

at this point, i was wailing. seriously. i was dramatic about it in every sense of the word, because this water business had ruined my evening plans of dish-washing and potty-flushing, and life would never be the same and we would never be ok again. so we went to bed without brushing our teeth, making the coffee, washing the dishes or flushing the toilet. and i'm telling you, after we shut the water off, all i wanted to do was pee and flush with abandon. funny how you don't think about stuff like that until you can't do it. to make matters worse, even after the lawyer turned off the water main, the tub was still dripping juuuuuuuust a bit. my tub actually mocked me. and i'm pretty sure i saw roxy smirking.

but we had a plan. we'd wake up super early, and ben would go turn the water back on so we could shower and make coffee and flush (i keep going back to that one...). we'd just let the tub run, i'd shower in ben's shower upstairs, and our world would be semi-righted until the plumber could arrive.

epic. fail.

i did not sleep well due to my anxiety and woke up several times in the night. so of course, i was awakened at 5 am with the requisite thunder, lightning and pouring rain. ben wasn't wild about getting dressed and trekking down the driveway to put pliers to a metal pipe while it was lightning and monsooning. life 8000, langs -2.

early morning. major storm. no water for coffee, showering, teeth-brushing, flushing. nothing. so i packed a bag and headed to the clinic, where i washed my face, brushed my teeth and washed off my armpits with a washcloth. i spent the entire day dirty and tired and really just pissed about it all.

thankfully, that afternoon the sun shone on us. the water lines got fixed up, we got a new faucet and now water only runs when i allow it. life is beautiful again.

oh, yeah, my washing machine quit draining too. i still have 4 inches of standing water in there.

home sweet home.

coming soon

a blog about my terrible tuesday. just you wait.

picture post

because i like you, i've posted pictures.

lots of pictures.

whoooooosh

that's the sound of my life moments these past 2 months, just breezing by while i've barely had time to breathe. i went to vegas one weekend, i went to new orleans and jackson for weddings, with a side trip to golden, MS, to see 2 very special friends, all while squatting in a friend's house (alone) and working, and then i moved back to the new home and the lawyer (new blog nickname) and started a new job.

it was a busy july.

then my sister got married. and then my mom came and stayed with us for 8 days. that really upped it a "busy summer" in general.

so, my blog has sat unattended in the internet from pre-vegas to labor day weekend. but the dust is starting to settle here, so hopefully my blog will return to its regular posting routine. and that dust settling business? i mean that literally. this house is all wood and dust is everywhere. but that's a separate story.

i plan to upload camera photos from the past 2 months tonight, so pictures are forthcoming, if blogger cooperates. meanwhile, i intend to finish today's tasks of roxy bathing, elliptical training, ceiling cleaning (see above) and picture hanging before dinner.

and so, i bid you adieu, dear faithful readers (or those i have left), and shall return on the morrow with picture posts and new-life-chapter stories.

viva las vegas

it's true. i get to "viva" las vegas tomorrow! baby sister's bachelorette party commences in 24 hours and counting.

the law student (who is opening his own practice and once again will need a new blog name), ever so caring, has given me some thoughts and instructions for my trip, based on his extensive vegas experiences.

1. don't get sold into sex trafficking.
2. don't ride in a cab with a stranger.
3. don't ride in a cab alone.
4. at all costs, make sure you're on that plane sunday. i don't care about anyone else.
(me: not even my sisters?)
4. a) ok, make sure your sisters are too, but that's it.

anna to me: if you don't have more than 3 drinks, i will roofie you.
ben to anna: if you ruin my marriage, i'll ruin yours.

i'm really excited, and a little nervous. 15 southern belles taking vegas by storm has comedy of errors written all over it.

secret single behavior, post #2

last night's dinner:

2 small bowls of tuna tomato pasta
2 salads with avocado (1/2 per salad), blue cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers, prosciutto and balsamic vinegar
4 strawberries with cream cheese fruit dip
5 sips of sierra nevada summerfest. i am ashamed i let so much beer remain unconsumed.
4-6 mindless handfuls of goldfish, to round things out.

well, it's better than sunday night's dinner.

pantry problems

so, new house means new storage challenges. i have a huge, open pantry that needs some serious organization-style tlc. anyone out there have any good storage tips?

whew

packing is NO fun. i never want to buy anything ever again, because eventually i will have to pack it.

we just unloaded our house in small town into our new house in hometown. and it was a chore. cheers to friends and family who made it happen. i spent most of my packing energy sighing at unpacked plates and utensils and then finding something else to do or just following the law student around the house as he and robz toted large pieces of furniture out to the uhaul. it's amazing how much shiz we actually have. it's like it mushroomed at the mere mention of packing tape.

our new house is super cute, even if one room doesn't have ceiling lights. it's cozy and private and i may have to get creative, but i believe it'll be a blast. the rox is less enthusiastic, as the house is totally hardwood (phobia #1) and the stairs are slats that you can see through (brand-new phobia #2). which means - less dog hair on the bed!

my mother-in-law is better than your mother-in-law, because she cleaned our house all day friday and saturday, and is coming over again today. seriously. just another reason why i'm so glad i married that boy. his parents are awesome.

pictures to come, although i'm a little creeped out to post pictures of where we live. i may not. you may just have to come visit.

so, for now, i'm still working in small town. i'll hopefully get to visit the boy and the rox on between the week and the weekend, as i'll be on several adventures for the next 3 saturdays. i'm living at my friend's house here, although it may be to my disadvantage. i have high hopes for working out and working lots of overtime, but chew on this. last night's dinner: 1 reese's, 2 snickers, 8 pringles, 6 crackers & cheese, fruit gummies & a coke. this is not good.