dear dolphins,
your special teams - woof.
you were the first to score. the golden mullet didn't score a touchdown. you held the patriots to 2 field goals in the first half. you walked back onto the field leading 7-6.
and then you let them score in the first 14 seconds of the second half. your quarterback threw 2 interceptions that resulted in 14 points, and a pick-6 to round out the game. not to mention i had to hear the name benjarvus green-ellis over and over again, which is not only a mouthful but also a player of my alma mater's rival. salt in the wound.
but nothing compares to the special teams. wow. y'all really showed out. after last game's blocked punt, surely you practiced this. you must have, because you are a professional football team and you get paid to do a job. how many blocked punts did you have last night? three? i lost count. i'm pretty sure your total lack of ability to simply execute a play that for any regular team is a given directly contributed to that bigger number on the scoreboard. your number one fan, my husband, stopped watching. he even stopped screaming. he probably won't even whistle all day today. if you don't know, it's a bad sign. in fact, my home life is directly related to your win-loss record.
i married into this loyalty, but i now support you as a true fan (even though jason taylor left). so, in the name of happy households and husbands everywhere,
get. it. together.
sincerely,
kissey, dolphin fan
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