wednesday wussy

today is sooooo pretty outside. i long to be in the out-of-doors in the warming sunshine, maybe walking the roxy or reading in the park.

as if. too many bugs for me to be lying down in the grass and such, namely those horrifying eight-legged terrorists commonly known as spiders. blech!

(this is the only image i could stomach. if you want to see a nasty spider, click here.)


call me an arachnophobic if you will. i call it careful. i HATE those things. i know they serve a purpose and i really try not to kill them (or have them killed, as is usually the case) in their natural habitat, but heaven help them if they get anywhere near me. my house, my car, my office are all out-of-bounds. when i spot them, i tend to immediately scream. i do this at home, in the car and at the office. in front of clients. i have clients kill them for me. everyone in the office knows what that scream means now. and those little horrors know how to find me too. i am the only one who is continuously assaulted by their presence. they don't crawl across anyone else's keyboard, or water glass, or doorway. just mine. they can smell my fear.

today, i am a wednesday spider-wussy. i'll share some of my incidents with you now.

-i was driving to the gym one afternoon and on the phone with my friend amanda. a hidden spider dropped down from my rearview mirror and got caught in the air conditioner's breeze and flew at my face. i screamed, dropped the phone, swerved a bit and almost wrecked and pulled over into a driveway and got out screaming and hitting my face.

-a spider once crawled up my water glass at work. just climbed up and peeped over at me. this was not the same one that ran across my keyboard.

-i was driving somewhere in my car, with the roxy in the back. i saw a spider on my car, freaked that i couldn't kill it and just knew it was going to jump onto me (you know, cause spiders can jump through glass and all at 30 mph), pulled over in a liquor store parking lot and asked the guy working to come kill it with a broom. he obliged and killed the spider. the down side? the rox got scared and sprayed. in my car. on the seat. nasty.

-too many times to count, spiders darken my doorway and refuse to let me pass. this happened just yesterday. a big green spider stood guard at my door and i had to get ben to come kill him. i clearly remember one morning at work there were not one but two spiders (one big and ugly, one small and sneaky) hanging out on the brick doorway of our office. i really almost called someone upstairs to come get them.

-i tend to scream and usually fly backwards when i see a spider in the office. as i mentioned, my co-workers are now adjusted to this behavior. so one day, i bend down below my desk to look assess some cpu malfunction, only to discover a HUGE black tarantula-esque creature at my feet. i scream lounder than usual and literally fly backwards across the room in my chair, scaring my two co-workers (we share an office) to death. and then they start laughing. hysterically. knowing my fear of spiders and having seen it in action too many times, they thought it was a good idea to plant a fake spider by my desk. it had been there for about a week.

so, there you have it. i am a wussy when it comes to spiders. ugh. *shudder* happy wednesday y'all. thank the lord in heaven above it's almost over.