here we go, again

let me start with a disclaimer.

this post is in no way to be interpreted as saying i am fat or unattractive. i am not one of those outrageously skinny girls who picks at her food, eats sunshine instead of food and constantly comments/obsesses over her weight. i realize in several years i will remember my figure with fondness and jealousy. i do not diet or view food as the enemy. i'm just short.


i am now going to live at the gym and eat vegetables. since tailgating football season began, i have put on about 3 pounds. well, maybe just 1 from tailgating, and 2 from elsewheres unknown. i hear you all groaning in disgust, but let's remember: i am 5 feet, 1 inch tall (thank you, terri), and 120 lbs. does not look good on me. it's got nowhere to hide! if i were 5 feet, 6 inches tall, we wouldn't be having this conversation. but on me, it just all kind of hangs out (literally) around my hips. which, might i add, is a new hangout and apparently a sign of aging. i guess the old ones (thighs) are no longer cool. i'm also very muscular, much like an out-of-shape gymnast, and i put on fat and muscle fairly quickly. and since pilates doesn't do that much for cardio, and neither does sitting under a tent at a football game eating yummy tailgate food and drinking beer, all those yummy little calories end up partying on my tummy.

you think i jest. you think wrong. jeans are tight on the hips. i was wearing my corduroy pants the other day (the cute ones from abercrombie kids before they changed the leg cut and that only cost $30) and when i got home, i just left them unbuttoned because they were tight. the law student actually noticed that they were unfastened. i find myself wanting to wear tshirts because they are loose where most of my clothes are fitted because i'm small and don't want my shape to get lost in big clothes. and i'm terrified to try to put on my french connection size 2 cute black pants that baby sis got for me on the cheap, because they're tight enough when i'm feeling skinny. as a result, i am wearing one of several planned dresses this week. high-waisted (you know, at the natural waist) dresses and skirts do make one look slim.

i'm debating a pregnancy test, soley to make myself feel better, because pregnancy would not be good news right now, and for motivation to stop munching all afternoon.

and so it begins. i will now walk the rox more and attend cardio classes in addition to the regular pilates classes, try to paint instead of eat aimlessly, and try to do my version of "vegan until dinner." simply, it is not a diet, but a rearranging of food groups on the plate. the theory is if you can eat vegan until dinner, you eat more nutrient-dense, more-filling, less-fat veggies and fruit instead of filling up on meat all day (because really, no one needs meat 3 times a day), and you eat whatever you want for dinner. the law student and i tried this once. i hated it because it's "vegan," which means no dairy. i have to have heavy cream in my coffee in the morning. non-dairy creamer is nasty and not a real food. so i incorporate a little dairy in my version so i can make it through the day. this does not affect ben, as he drinks his black.

so you see, i am taking a healthy approach by increasing my exercise and eating healthier food in smaller portions. i know i will never again see 105 lbs. on the scale, and my thighs will always touch (they're very close), but maybe after a few weeks they won't be a fire hazard any more.

uncle ben and aunt lauren

we have a niece!

olivia amy l.
7 pounds, 1 ounce
october 10, 2009



welcome to the world, sweet girl!

serious WTFery

the u.s. is bombing the moon tomorrow? to find ice? seriously, kids, there are bigger problems on the ball of water and dirt we live on. let's focus on those, ok? you know, instead of bombing natural satellites that provide soft light in the dark, control the ocean tides on said ball of water and dirt, and inspire weird goings-on and romantic notions. african children don't have clean water, and nasa wants to blow a hole in the moon for ice.

the bathroom--a world of discovery

so, i went to the bathroom this morning. i know, i'm unpredictable that way. and i discovered i have my underwear on inside out. oh, the perils of getting dressed in the dark. and i remember specifically trying (apparently unsuccessfully) to determine the position of said underwear this morning to avoid this exact scenario. so, as i sit there on the toilet, staring at the outside of the panties, the inevitable thought crosses my mind: "should i turn them right-side-out?" i imagine i am not the only one this happens to, and you have all probably been faced with the same dilemma--to turn or not to turn right-side-out. so what do you do? i did not rearrange, as i am at work and just plain didn't feel like it. but i seriously thought about it.

another joy of office life? the office bathroom. it's right next to our (my) office. a single, unisex bathroom. spacious, comfortable, well-stocked with toilet paper, spray and a fan. however, the fan is not loud enough to drown out the sound one's flowing stream. i hate hearing people pee. and apparently (insert eww here) skid marks don't bother my office mates as much as they bother me, because they don't even go for the courtesy second flush. you see, i have bathroom "issues," let's say, and am entirely phobic of anyone being able to hear/smell/see any evidence of said issues, and take above-and-beyond measures to ensure my sense of bathroom privacy. now, i have not encountered these moments today, but i did sit down on a warm toilet seat. thankfully, there were no tell-tale spots or not-so-mysterious stray hairs to disturb my visit. maybe i should wait longer before entering the bathroom after a coworker.
enjoy.

it's wedding weekend for holly jo! i'll be heading down home tonight to eat dinner, drink champagne, and toast the bride and groom with friends. then back up to the hills to hang out with baby sister and middle sister (who hasn't come to see me in forever), and try and keep my parents separated since they are both coming to my house visit their far-flung dallas daughter. hopefully i'll have nothing to blog about sunday evening.

bad day

it's already a bad day. 3 hours into monday, and it's a bad day.

i feel like i keep screwing up at work. yes, it's early, and yes, we are human and make errors, but i should be able to know and see someone does NOT get paid over 500 hours. and that these are third quarter reports and payments, not fourth.

i feel burdened by not always being a good friend. i have the best friends anyone could ask for, and i miss them dearly, but sometimes i fail them. and that sucks.

i get annoyed too easily, and i betray my Lord with my tongue DAILY. and that is my greatest struggle--not using my tongue to speak praise and love and truth and instead allowing it to be used for destruction by satan. i am crushed thinking about being held accountable for every word and thought i have uttered. ugh.

so, there is my gloomy mood to match this gloomy monday.

oh well. at least i didn't drop my phone into the toilet i had just used and had to fish out so i could call and tell everyone i had a $116 bar tab. like someone i know.

wedding shout out to my friend holly jo eidson soon-to-be english! can't wait to see you this weekend in your white dress and toast your happiness with all our friends.