feelin' kinda funky

not in a good way, though. i'm stressed. there, i said it. so often i really try to be upbeat, optimistic, even if only to buck up my other half, who is also stressed. but i'm tired and kind of feel like just wallowing (anxiously, of course) in the stress.

stress affects everyone differently. the law student tends to neglect sleep and act like a zombie during the waking hours. incidentally, he's really been freaking me out lately with his excitement over the zombie apocalypse. there are reasons i don't watch scary movies - zombies are one of them.

as for me, i handle stress much differently. i want to do nothing but sleep all the time. i make half-hearted lists that are doomed to never be crossed off. i eat junk food and neglect exercise. therefore, i tend to feel crappy, fat, and groggy in addition to the stress, which only complicates things further.

it is a real effort for me to overcome stress, to do things that need to get done or make me feel better, because i just plain don't want to do anything. let's talk about yesterday, because it's a prime example of how stress makes me self-sabotage. i went home early yesterday from work. i felt stressed (you guessed right!) and really tired, plus i needed to look for jobs and wanted to take some time to do some stuff around the house. secretly i just wanted to read and nap, but i made a list: menu, grocery list, clean bathrooms, read Bible & pray, put up clothes, work out, walk roxy, call contact, job applications, vacuum, put up dishes, blog (look at me, crossing things off my list), fold clothes. know what i did? i walked roxy, made a grocery list and applied to three jobs. i had two hours off work and that's what i did, which means i have to do all the rest of that stuff today.

and the absolute worst consequence? i have not had any coffee today because we are out of coffee filters and i have not gone to get any. i feel like a zombie.