she's baaaaaaaaack

and a bit depressed.

i privatized ole blogger here because i was applying for a new job with a GREAT company and thought it would be prudent to keep these random thoughts hidden.

i found out this morning i did not make it to the second round of interviews. suck. so back to blogging it is. small consolation. le sigh. well, i did get what i asked for. i asked for clarification and for the job to open up if it was right, and He didn't, so there. it's still not any fun though. i really wanted that job.

moving on to my next disaster....it's not really a disaster. it is a decision with great risks. and the law student and i are ready for it.

natural family planning.

um, eeeeeeeek.

not to be confused with the less-than-reliable rhythm method.

we (well, i, and the law student went along with it more than willingly, which is a bit (but not really) surprising. ooooh, parentheses within parentheses! squeeee!) have embarked into uncharted (ha! pun.) territory. i feel a bit like i've dived into the deep end of a cold, cold pool. so, i'll finish this post with how we got started down this path.

it really all started with food. as you all know, dear readers, i like organic food. i am down with dirt. grass-fed cattle, chickens and pigs, free-range eggs, milk straight from the dairy, no pesticides on our veggies....aaahhh. i miss summer. so, before i digress into my trip to the dairy, let me get back. the principle is really the same--being careful and intentional about what you put in your body. i have been on the birth control pill for several years now. i have never really had a problem with them--they usually work like a charm and didn't whack me out or anything--but was getting concerned about being medicated with hormones for such an extended period of time. i had read a little about natural family planning and decided i wanted to try it. i really like the "natural" aspect of it.

a little crash-course in nfp--it's just biology. and that kills me. women are not taught how to interpret their bodies, which i think has profound implications as far as personal health. seriously though, it's biology, and it's amazing. a woman's body gives off natural cues relating to her fertility, controlled by the rise and fall of hormones estrogen and progestin. natural family planning (a blanket term for several different methods and just the general idea of it) teaches you the signs to look for and how to interpret those signs to be able to, with more than reasonable accuracy, determine the status of your fertility and use that information to avoid pregnancy (my goal) or obtain pregnancy (not my goal). it's a lot more involved and is backed by a life perspective as well, but this is what i am focusing on here.

and, well, biology is confusing. currently, i am most interested in billings/creighton model, which charts cervical mucus. you can also chart your temperature (in three different places) and the position and feel of your cervix. (um, what?) you could chart one, two or even all three. but that involves more work. cervical mucus is charted by its presence and consistency and color. you have to take your temperature first thing in the morning before you get out of bed or even roll over, or it's off. and if you are sick or take medicine or something like that, it affects your temperature. and the cervix charting has a higher "ick" factor than i am willing to deal with. also, per my conversation with my very knowledgeable friend (and courtney's sister) katie, charting lots of symptoms seems good but can cause confusion if one sign says "fertile" while another says "infertile." so mucus it is. i have a little chart and everything. hopefully i can get the coordinating stickers soon.

also, here's the kicker. if i were catholic, i would have been charting since i got engaged. i'd be a charting pro right now. but i'm not catholic and have been on the pill, so i really have no idea what my body's "normal" is. so abstinence for the first cycle charting is recommended just to get a grip on things. the law student seemed to take this recommendation to heart, as in it does not seem to bother him in the least. i'm a little pissed. and we're on day 6.

so, that's our new adventure. pray we don't get pregnant. i'll keep you posted.

psalm 139:14 - i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, i know that full well.