Wednesday, November 23, 2011

This is why you need a list.

A list of things forgotten on our annual turkey day trip to hot springs.

-the lawyer's playbook (retrieved after we turned around for it)
-becca's purse, which includes most notably her id, cash money and lip gloss, and which we did not retrieve on our first false start
-tents left in storage instead of at our house for our friend to set up our tailgate
-the lawyer's left sneaker
-the lawyer's jacket
-the lawyer's humor

If you will note, I did not forget anything. And speaking of losing your humor...

The lawyer is generally even-keeled and a good sport about most things. So when he's in a bad mood, I usually a) get tickled, b) try not to "poke the bear," or c) both a) and b). Last night, the bear was in a bad mood. As we passed through the last town before the MS delta, he indicated he was hungry. After turning up his nose at the generous offerings of fast food, he settled on Taco Bell. Becca discovered her missing purse after we had our hearts set on some cheesy fiesta potatoes. We walked in to inform the lawyer. However, I couldn't even stay to enjoy his reaction because of another patron, who had made the unfortunate decision to accent his dylan-from-90210 brown haircut with orange racing-stripe highlights. I could not handle it - I had to leave before I laughed in his face. We finished our wait in the car. And then, the lawyer came back to the car with this gem of a story.

Ben: I'd like a steak burrito.

Taco Bell employee of the month: We don't have steak burritoes.

Ben: (looking up at the menu) Well, what do you have?

TBEOM: Steak Supreme Burrito.

Ben: Well, what makes it "supreme?"

TBEOM: Sour cream.

Ben: Then I'd like a steak supreme burrito without sour cream.

At this time, I'd like to issue a warning to all minimum-wage and middle-management personnel between here and there: Please don't poke the bear.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

trick or teat

i dressed up as hello kitty for halloween. i was the cutest ever. an $8 headband and some face paint - yellow nose, black whiskers - also makes it one of the cheapest ever.

the office crew

after work, i went by my in-laws just to chat and show off my ridiculously cute alter-ego. i came home 2 hours later with a homemade chicken pot pie. i kind of love being back in hometown.

the lawyer and i recently purchased a small drop-leaf table and chairs. for the first time in over 4 years of marriage, we have a place besides the couch to eat dinner. so, naturally, i force us to eat dinner there as much as i can. unless we're having cheese puffs and/or ice cream for dinner, because then we have dinner on the couch.

i heated up the pot pie and set it in the middle of our table. i set out plates and silverware and poured 2 glasses of wine. since dinner was so fabulous, we didn't talk much during it. but towards the end of the meal, i noticed something.


sidebar - i am anal-retentive, bossy and stubborn.

the lawyer was holding his fork completely wrong. remember how beast held his fork in disney's beauty and the best and tried to slobber down the soup (or whatever) as it fell from his awkwardly-held utensil?



well, the lawyer wasn't that bad, but he was holding his silverware in the same awkward, scowl-inducing manner.

the lawyer: (oblivious)
kissey: what are you doing?
the lawyer: (still oblivious) what?
kissey: you're holding your fork wrong.
the lawyer: what? (eyes slant)
kissey: (scowling) you're holding your fork wrong. hold it like this. (demonstrates)
the lawyer: it's good. i'm hungry. leave me alone. plus, it's really hard to take you seriously with all that cat makeup on your face.

touche.